tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9200957061062947070.post1109573438899931521..comments2023-08-15T08:14:28.008-07:00Comments on >>>: How To Get Over a Breakup.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06289225125509210279noreply@blogger.comBlogger32125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9200957061062947070.post-62195650472286564532015-09-10T15:09:50.030-07:002015-09-10T15:09:50.030-07:00Thank you Barbara, so much for this comment! Three...Thank you Barbara, so much for this comment! Three plus years later, it is still so nice and fulfilling to know that my words have and continue to leave a positive imprint on those who stumble upon it. Sending you hugs !Punky Jhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08852625202695488295noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9200957061062947070.post-54902604035883594582015-08-24T07:09:38.059-07:002015-08-24T07:09:38.059-07:00I found this post a about 2 years ago and it reall...I found this post a about 2 years ago and it really helped me through my harsh break up with a then a boyfriend. To this day, even with the casual dating experiences I've had, I always go back to this post and read it over and over again. I actually have this specific post bookmarked! You have no idea how much it has helped me through some tough times. I just wanted to drop a line and say thank you!!Barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13795803523435531750noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9200957061062947070.post-81839321739799098342013-04-24T13:58:00.003-07:002013-04-24T13:58:00.003-07:00My boyfriend took me on a beach trip to Florida fo...My boyfriend took me on a beach trip to Florida for my birthday over the weekend, then Monday ended things, saying I was "condescending" toward him. He had a temper and could be quite mean, so I decided to postpone our planned cohabitation until I was sure he was working on that to make life with him easier. When he was in a good mood, he is the sweetest nicest guy in the world, but when he's in a bad mood, get out of the way! But I am having such a difficult time without him, we spent hours together daily on the phone (I lost my job a couple months ago) and when he was in town, we were inseperable. I miss him so much, I don't know how we can end all contact, we've been in touch every day since the breakup, but I can see how I need the space to heal. Such great points, thanks for taking the time to share.CamIsFithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12266996486016125341noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9200957061062947070.post-53863280207077374762013-03-21T11:53:52.622-07:002013-03-21T11:53:52.622-07:00"Keep in the mind that when you do find that ..."Keep in the mind that when you do find that person who is meant for you.. that person who treats you better than anyone else and is everything you imagined and more.. keep in mind that he probably broke several hearts along the way. He probably went through a lot of bullshit, bullshit that was his, and bullshit from others, to be the man he is today... for you. Maybe your current relationship didn't work out so that you both could be better for the right people when they eventually come along."<br /><br />Love this. Thank you. Just thank you. :)Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11935099420055515623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9200957061062947070.post-20072610257621310952013-01-25T04:51:53.618-08:002013-01-25T04:51:53.618-08:00Iv been broken up a year, and having to see the gi...Iv been broken up a year, and having to see the girl at work is still tough......aaaaaaerrrrrrggggggghhhhhAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9200957061062947070.post-55323967088547742062013-01-02T07:44:52.006-08:002013-01-02T07:44:52.006-08:00Hi Jen,
Yes, I was so desperate to find relief th...Hi Jen,<br /><br />Yes, I was so desperate to find relief that I actually checked the second page of search results. You know I have looked up those exact words on Google. And it brought me here.<br /><br />I completely agree with every point you make. I am a firm believer in "everything happens for a reason", and if there is someone here looking for some kind of explanation, playing everything in their heads for the umpteenth time, please let me tell them: it happened because it had to happen. I am not necessarily being fatalistic- what I am trying to say is no matter how hard you (or you both) have tried, there was at least one aspect of your relationship that was problematic, and it became a deal-breaker for your ex.<br /><br />I guess the real reason behind my devastation this time (apart from the obvious broken dreams, etc) is that this break-up shook one of my core beliefs: "love conquers all". No, it does not, unless you are willing to put hard work in it. I cannot stress this enough, real love requires hard work, not miserable hard work but the kind of work that helps you behave respectfully in your relationship.<br /><br />And if you cannot figure out why a person broke up with you when there still is mutual love, they probably are driven by fear (of commitment, of growing up, of responsibility.. you name it). And that is mostly their problem, and they need to figure it out on their own and decide if they would rather get over it or sweep it under the rug. As much as I believe in second chances, if they/you both are not willing to work on their/your issues, it probably will not last.<br /><br />Heal well, everyone! And keep believing in the good stuff!<br />C.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9200957061062947070.post-21918437779738514262012-12-02T11:52:18.158-08:002012-12-02T11:52:18.158-08:00I broke up with my boyfriend of a year in August b...I broke up with my boyfriend of a year in August because I felt like I wanted something new. I dated a few guys and 2 months later it hit me that I made the biggest mistake I could have. My ex treated me like a princess and would have dropped just about anything for me. We work together and so it was especially hard for him to get over things because he had to see me. When i realized I made a mistake I went to him and told him, he said he didn't know how he could trust me again but we could work on it and see where it goes. He also told me he had been seeing this other girl, nothing was official but he didn't want to lie to me. I automatically became obsessed with getting him back and would stop by his place to see if he was home without being invited. I couldn't help but feel that If I didn't break up with him, we would still be together and happy,and that I wouldn't be miserable. He kept talking to her and me and I finally said I couldn't do that. Then after a few days of not talking he texted me saying he missed me and was going to tell her he couldn't see her while he tried to figure things out with me. I saw his phone light up one night and it was just a bunch of texts, i knew they were from her and she said they texted each other that day, about how their day was going, that's it. On friday he said he was going to a friends and i didn't hear from him that night. Yesterday I said i wanted to talk to him because i felt like he was pushing me away again as we were getting closer. He told me he had her spend the night last night because he missed her and had to be around her. He said he wasn't sorry because it made him feel better. He didn't even sit down and tell me this, he was doing his hair in the mirror. I asked him where do we go from here and he said it was up to him. I asked him to stop talking to her and he said he will not do that, that he likes her. I just left. I have been going back and forth with him for over a month now and i felt like i should put up with so much because I caused him a lot of pain when i broke up with him and i would do anything to take that back but I can't. He has hurt me so much during this time and I have to realize that he is now a different person. Its hard for me to let go of the past, especially around the holidays because i would be spending xmas with him and his family and i won't be, instead his new girl probably will be and I just have to see him at work. I know i initially did the breaking up and caused him pain but that is what i felt like i needed at the time and now I don't know how to move on. I got on axiety meds because of it. I just have to keep telling myself that i did everything in my power to try and it just wouldn't work. Your post helped me, thank you!Larisanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9200957061062947070.post-32293546981610608922012-11-29T09:10:38.974-08:002012-11-29T09:10:38.974-08:00Thank you for your post, I came out of a 12yr rela...Thank you for your post, I came out of a 12yr relationship with two children 3 years ago, i got into a relationship which developed really quickly, i was with this person for nearly 7mths, not a long time i know but we spent a lot of time together got to know each others famililies and my kid got quite attached, in April my grandfather passed away and then this person left me six weeks later i was devasted and fell into a deep depression and felt worthless, i am dreading xmas this year but i am trying to pull myself together for the kids sake, reading your post has really helped, when someone leaves you without a proper explanation or warning you are left wondering what did i do wrong, but ive realised that he told me a lot of lies during the relationship and in time i will be a lot better off without him helennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9200957061062947070.post-2909818376238903322012-11-24T23:27:16.202-08:002012-11-24T23:27:16.202-08:00Thanks for this post, Punky. I'm revisiting i...Thanks for this post, Punky. I'm revisiting it as I'm starting to feel a more intense pain over a recent break-up (a little over two months)even though I felt that I was on my way towards moving on. I think the hurt has intensified a little because we started dating around the holidays last year and because we had made plans for us to spend Thanksgiving together, which obviously didn't end up happening.<br /><br />One thing that I recently realized about the whole "being each other's guinea pig" concept is that, as hurtful as it is, there are constantly other people out there who are going through a break up...so, perhaps, the person whom you'll all end up with is going through the same "betterment" process as we speak. It helps to think of it from that perspective...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9200957061062947070.post-71455140348530664092012-11-22T01:28:06.845-08:002012-11-22T01:28:06.845-08:00I'm four days into a break up which has hit me...I'm four days into a break up which has hit me like a truck. It's great to read your witty words of wisdom, and everyone's insights as well. It's tough, I thought he was the "one" and have only recently realised he didn't feel the same way after almost 3 years together. Phew. Whilst I'm definitely not thinking about who's next for me (the idea of another relationship right now makes my stomach hurt) its so right that we learn so much about ourselves at this time. Punky you're a star, wish I had your wisdom at your age. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9200957061062947070.post-46832782258406128032012-10-29T13:08:58.728-07:002012-10-29T13:08:58.728-07:00Thank you for this. My fiance and I are on a "...Thank you for this. My fiance and I are on a "break" that no one but his brother and sister-in-law and my best friend know about. We're still engaged on Facebook and it is supposed to be business as usual for me though I'm barely making it through work or the simpliest day to day routines with my kids. I didn't get out of bed for two days and even called in sick to work a few days ago. I'm ashamed to admit I'm hoping we are one of the few who get back together and I feel like I'm stuck in some sort of emotional blackhole not able to move forward. I'm preparing for the worst which is obviously why I googled "how to get over a breakup". I want to be strong like an amazon woman and take the next step and just say let's call it over, make it official, but I'm scared to death of losing the love of my life. *Sigh* All that being said you've given me a little bit of strength and I'm going to bookmark this, print it, read it over and over so that when the time comes, either his chosing or mine, I'll be one step closer to surviving. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9200957061062947070.post-8458856090002823102012-10-24T15:26:23.078-07:002012-10-24T15:26:23.078-07:00I just found this post, as I am going through a fr...I just found this post, as I am going through a fresh breakup. I've probably read it every day since it happened 5 days ago. I'm a wreck, but slowly picking myself up, and your words have really helped me to realize that everything I'm feeling is normal and that I can get through it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9200957061062947070.post-63053262011987494532012-07-12T06:38:21.122-07:002012-07-12T06:38:21.122-07:00This post is fabulous -- I did do a google search ...This post is fabulous -- I did do a google search and came upon this! i also loved this post:<br />http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/thank-your-ex/<br /><br />the last line is what touched me. <br /><br />anyway -- this post really helped me, and thank you for writing it! (and making it easy to find via google!)Jinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9200957061062947070.post-84621708141715188882012-06-21T13:48:15.473-07:002012-06-21T13:48:15.473-07:00Loved the post. I'm finding it so hard to get ...Loved the post. I'm finding it so hard to get over my ex or experience the moving on part. bUT your point is right, i did date others before him and felt bad each time things didn't work out... and new people happened, and new people will always happen. <br /><br />aaah.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9200957061062947070.post-14644714901877784182012-06-19T09:13:33.199-07:002012-06-19T09:13:33.199-07:00I am going through a very hard separation from a 6...I am going through a very hard separation from a 6 year relationship, 3 years married and a 3 month old baby. He is just recently out of the Marine corp and told me he doesn't love me anymore and that he was lying to me and to himself.It is a long story and It is very hard because I still love him deeply. I email you more details but I would love to hear more from you or anyone else.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9200957061062947070.post-17618523627842248042012-06-18T15:09:51.360-07:002012-06-18T15:09:51.360-07:00Thank you for this - I found your post by googling...Thank you for this - I found your post by googling the words "how to get over a break up" so I couldn't help but laugh at the first sentence of your post. My boyfriend broke up with me almost three weeks ago, and I am still completely devastated. It helps to know I'm not alone. And your advice is spot on! Especially the stuff about blocking him on facebook. I have been checking facebook obsessively ever since we broke up and every time I see a new picture of him or read a happy comment he posted I get hit with a fresh wave of sadness. As soon as I read your blog, I went and blocked him, and his two best friends, so I won't have to see their updates on my newsfeed anymore.Katenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9200957061062947070.post-28773299181766480802012-06-07T02:54:35.119-07:002012-06-07T02:54:35.119-07:00This is seriously good. Seeeeeriously good. I'...This is seriously good. Seeeeeriously good. I'm sending the link to a friend right now, it's just what her love doctor ordered. Great blog xKatrinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06457692692931291451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9200957061062947070.post-89711232355110701232012-06-05T09:03:20.817-07:002012-06-05T09:03:20.817-07:00what a kick ass post!!! loved this!what a kick ass post!!! loved this!♥ Ka`ilihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05664964632394250369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9200957061062947070.post-8721516263238568542012-05-31T10:37:25.294-07:002012-05-31T10:37:25.294-07:00I'm going through this right now. The actual &...I'm going through this right now. The actual "breaking up" hasn't happened but we're both there and I've been googling shit all morning. I just want to say thanks. This really helps. Like A LOT. :)riana.https://www.blogger.com/profile/16347628138306778220noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9200957061062947070.post-17695112876637378542012-05-30T09:40:37.834-07:002012-05-30T09:40:37.834-07:00youre smart. i really dig this!! im bookmarking it...youre smart. i really dig this!! im bookmarking it for the future though i really could have used it a few months ago haha nice to meet you punky (weird fun fact that was my dads nickname when he was a kid because his head was shaped like a pumpkin)Alliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15063691811883091907noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9200957061062947070.post-80195263800452910412012-05-24T11:07:48.137-07:002012-05-24T11:07:48.137-07:00Jen, this is such a valuable post! I love your tho...Jen, this is such a valuable post! I love your thoughtfulness and depth! Yes, I remember googling exactly those words. I too have been through many rough break-ups and boy, did they hurt! Each time I thought I'd never be able to fall in love again, until the day when it hit me harder than I ever believed possible. You know how people say, you'll be able to tell, when you've met THE ONE? I used to think "ya, right." As a matter of fact, I didn't believe I would EVER find the one. But you know what? I actually did. And I instantly knew! You will too :)Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13418766026980955862noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9200957061062947070.post-50116506274975263332012-05-23T18:51:28.388-07:002012-05-23T18:51:28.388-07:00wow. this is perfect. Thanks baby cakes. Seriously...wow. this is perfect. Thanks baby cakes. Seriously.Sierra @ Sierra's Viewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10987108469228128361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9200957061062947070.post-69294876728316265502012-05-22T12:57:27.779-07:002012-05-22T12:57:27.779-07:00I love your posts. All of them. I only went throug...I love your posts. All of them. I only went through 2 hard break ups. I have broken up with some friends though, and I pretty much had to go through the entire break up process losing those friends. I mourned and grieved and had to tell myself memories were just that, and they weren't gong to reoccur. <br /><br />The one bad boyfriend break up I had was horrible. He was one of those boys, who didn't want a girlfriend, but we'd been seeing each other for about 3 years exclusively. Even longer on and off. He tore my heart out when he finally decided he wanted a girlfriend but it wasn't me. Since we never had a title it was so hard to justify how sad I was. He eventually came back to me like a douche. Needless to say it never worked out. ha!<br /><br />I enjoyed reading the post though, one of my best friends is actually in counseling right now for a break up. When she first told me that I thought it was silly, but then I realized that since they had been together every single thing in her life had him in it. She had to start finding new friends, new gym, new classes, and change her whole entire life from a break up, it seems the older you get the harder.Miki {Becoming What I Always Was}https://www.blogger.com/profile/18362273404453582413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9200957061062947070.post-86321130842396997392012-05-22T08:54:39.718-07:002012-05-22T08:54:39.718-07:00I'm a new follower and I am so happy I found y...I'm a new follower and I am so happy I found your blog! This is such a great post!! So much truth here! Thanks for dealing with so many hard times to be able to share some knowledge with us! :)Daniellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01108523496716207801noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9200957061062947070.post-14869448324305198542012-05-22T07:23:28.472-07:002012-05-22T07:23:28.472-07:00Break up ARE fucking hard! Before I started datin...Break up ARE fucking hard! Before I started dating Steve I had three major breakups. Actually if you count the one time Steve and I broke up that would make it four. You see I am good a math. Notbutseriously - each breakup was life shattering. This post would have been helpful. Even though I survived and Steve and I did get back together and I became a little less crazy. Steve claims he made me less crazy. This is probably true - but it wouldn't have happened if I didn't suffer through each of those break ups. Great post. xoEmilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18124446975154488977noreply@blogger.com