Ok, Time to Get Ripped.

Hi. I do not get dressed up for the gym. I look like a haggard mess and then I sweat a crap ton, adding to the haggard-ness even more. And guess what. I don't care! What's up with all these other chicks dressing up like they're going to a MISSED CONNECTION? Are they joking me??

Ok, time to get RIPPED.

I'm serious this time. Just like I was all the other times. But this time. Really, I am. How do we know I'm serious: because I'm blogging about it.

I'm coming to realize how accountable one becomes of themselves when they put things down in writing. Especially in a public domain. It kind of adds a new layer of pressure and expectation on oneself (wow, I sound so formal this morning-sometimes I forget I'm not writing a college paper....[ever again]). For a gal who is often severly discipline-challenged, this is a bright and promising approach. AND SO, in spirit of all the "healthly/lets get fit/lets feel good" posts I've been reading lately (love it), I'm composing my own. BOOM.

Let me start off by saying this. Honestly? I'm pretty comfortable with my body image. At 135lbs / 5'7 / Size 6 jeans (size 4 at the GAP #reasonsilovethegap) I sit comfortably. Does this mean I don't have a collection of physical insecurities? HECK NO, mamas! Of course I do. I'm human. And those magazines and those televisions sure like to flash images at us constantly that make ALL of us feel like much less than we are. It's annoying, I agree with you. But, I've managed to not let those things get to me. I don't stress over my flaws, I don't demand the lights be turned off when I'm getting intimate with someone, I don't "stay-in" because I feeling like I'm "too fat" to go out (seriously ladies--don't be hatin' on yourself like that-it's ridiculous. GO OUT and have a fun time. No one is seriously going to be looking over at you at any point of the night and think, "wow, she's not thin enough to be outside her home enjoying this fine Friday evening." Are you kidding me? NO. That DOESN'T happen. If you're feeling a little less hot than usual, just put on something that flatters your figure. Put on some black. Put on some lipstick (easiest boost of confidence right there). And maybe have a a glass of wine or two before your GFs pick you up. But whatever you do, don't let your insecurities rob you of your Friday evening. You're robbing yourself in the process.) And most of all, I certainly don't say no to cupcakes when I really want one. To enjoy life means to enjoy cupcakes. It's ok. All is OK in moderation. 

To go back to the bit about having the light turned off during moments of intimacy (sorry, not my most organized post here. Now I remember, I'm not writing a college paper.) I wanna share a quick little piece of reassurance that was delivered to me once by a dude friend of mine. I don't even know how the conversation started, but somehow I think I mentioned the fear/insecurity of taking your clothes off in front of a guy for the first time, and how you worry about what they may think. To which, this friend of mine, quickly responded with, "Jen. We're guys. What girls need to understand about guys, is that when a girl is taking her clothes off in front of us, the last thing we are thinking about is how her physical appearance is disappointing us in anyway. We're not even thinking about that at all. The only thing we're thinking is, 'she's taking her clothes off!!!' We're excited about it. Especially, if it's a girl we're really interested in." Pretty straightforward outlook from a dude person, no doubt. But there is depth there in what he said, and it has stuck with me ever since. I don't demand the lights to be turned off. I never have. But while I have thought about it in the past and almost wished it at times out of fear of judgement, I don't anymore. 

I'm content with the way I look. I'm freckly and curvy like my Brazilian mama, and I've got assets I should stop taking for granted so often. BUT, there is always room for improvement, right kids?

Right. So I wanna tone up. I've managed to maintain the same weight (give or take a few pounds) since high school and that, in itself, is something to be proud of given all the stress that I've juggled since June 2005. But there's been areas of FLAB all along that I have been meaning to tackle. At times, I have, but then it's back to one toooo many jelly beans and BOOM, it's back. Well. This time around I don't just wanna FIGHT THE FLAB! but I want to KILL IT. For good. Do you see the serious-ness and ferocity in my all caps there? Yeah, this is for real.

Cause not only do I want to look good better for New York/the summer of my 25th birthday, but there is no doubt that being active and taking care of your body as best you can, makes you feel good. Even if you can't physically see the changes right away, your mentality shifts immediately for the better. It really does. You have more energy and you have more confidence. Facts.

I've been running long distance on and off since I was 14. (Ran Cross Country in both HS and junior college) and I want the discipline and intensity of all of that back. I wanna seriously be like one of those crazy frequent marathon runners and/or Jillian Michaels. Well, maybe not that ripped, no offense, Jilly, but I just wanna be able to comfortably wear dresses like this awesome new one, with out fear that people are judging my back fat. Cause sometimes, even with the lipstick on and the glass of wine or two you still irrationally freak out that people are having entire conversations about the visible flaws your sporting. #thatslife #thatsbeinghuman #thatsbeingagirlinthisdayandage #america. 

(I like to hashtag my life away. Have you noticed?)

DRESS:

HOW cute?? My sister Michelle GAVE it to me. Sometimes she likes to scream at me for wearing a shirt of hers that surely I didn't think she cared about anymore because I found it in a garbage bag titled "GOOD WILL". Other times she is handing me dresses by Free People for FREE. And I'm a lot confused, but I don't ask questions. I just say yes and immediately try it on and then ask her to take pictures of me so I can instagram it. And then hug her. And then finally, hug the idea that I want to look the very darn best I can in said dresses. 

So here we go. Time to get ripped. I'm doing three days on//one day off with special focus on my core and my arms. And just trying to get more seasoned on the distance running again. I'm definitely not running the six and seven miles a day that I used to. I want those days back. And also, I just want some balance around here. I've been getting pretty lost in all of this blogging lately, and it's great, but I need fresh air, and I need some physical movement up in hurrrr. 

I'll leave you with some tips from my very own gal/hero. The REAL slim shady.

your turn:

- Where do you stand with your body image? Are you guilty of always saying no to cupcakes even though deep down you are crying for one? Demanding to have the lights off? Obsessing over calories? Stay in because you feel fat?

- Do you have any advice you can add in terms of body image and boosting confidence on those nights when you are feeling less spectacular than usual?
- Wanna get tone with me?? Let's e-mail and talk accoutability!!!

Body image can sometimes be a tough one to talk about, because everyone is usually on different paths with it-though I'm sure many of us share the same insecurities, no matter what size we are. I really just welcome you to share any thoughts you may have here. Even if it's just, "GO PUNKY!" because, hey, encouragement is awesome ! And you know how much I love itttt :)

P.S. In other topics, have you guys thought about putting together a post of your favorite instagrammers?? No? Well,  you should!!! My first round of Punky's Picks is up and it's lonely. It needs some friends--would love it if you took the time to share your favorites and linked-up. Link up is open for an entire month! gogogogo.

HAPPY WEEKEND FRIENDS!

NO, BUT REALLY: Confessions of a Wannabe Blogger

Hello and welcome to the continuation of this post.

I've been anxious to return to my thoughts and my words and my ever-non-phasing-desire to share every freckle of my young spirit with you. It's been fun rolling in the meadows and organizing link ups for the first time, but I'm back now and I want to let you know where my mind's been seeding.

The wealth of information I've gathered since I wrote that former piece is tremendous.

Where I stand right now as a budding blogger is tremendous.

In the last two weeks my readership has doubled (!!), and all I can say is aw, gee. Cause it ain't even my birthday week and yet it feels like a party in here. It's awesome. And wild. And yeah, much of it IS due to the fact that I've made some investments here and there in terms of sponsoring, but I've also done the one thing I'm proud to say, I do best, and that is: be me.

Granted, I'm still figuring it out. You know, the "me" part. But of what I do know, I embrace. I remain true to it. And that goes for every shade of my being: I'm talkin' the good, the bad, the happy, the sad, the lost, the found. Every shade of this 24 year old body, I love and I hold. And all of it, I share. I've opened my heart and soul here, since post numero uno. I've put things out there, that actually, I've looked back and thought, "eeee," only to be swiftly greeted by the after taste of freedom and the quiet confirmation that my "work" here is GOLD. If not for you, for me. Blogging has literally saved me since the new year. It's given me clarity. It's given me peace. And it's given me determination.

The love and compassion I've received from both friends and strangers alike is incredible. From random friends that I haven't spoken to in YEARS to experienced bloggers that I truly admire. To read the words, "you're special", "you've inspired me", "I was blown away by what you wrote" "what you are doing is tremendous and life-changing", I mean.. really? IT'S NOT EVEN MY BIRTHDAY WEEK, people. And those are some pretty powerful things to say.. really? Are you serious, I ask?? You are all too kind to say such things, and also, you're making me blush.

I feel good. And this blogging thing, well, it just keeps getting better. And more real for me. Truth be told, I've only begun to vaguely express the craziness that has occurred in my lifetime thus far. There's been situations I've lived that literally, I've had to turn to GOOGLE (no joke) in order to find another soul on this earth who could relate. They have been dark times where I needed someone who wasn't going to respond with an uncomfortable laugh or a "I don't know what to say" or "that is the craziest thing, I couldn't imagine." I want to share these experiences I've gone through. I want to write about them. And not because I'm looking to exploit any of the characters involved, or because they're "crazy stories", but because I have a voice, and I've been gifted with the willingness to use it, and a passion to relate with others. I've learned so much already, and still-there is much left to be learned. I want to write it all down. And if it's not for you, then it's for me. But see, I want it to be for you too. I want to continue to share the love and to inspire, to get others to think outside the box and see things from a different perspective. That's what I'm ultimately doing here, because the personal diaries, I have those, and I write in them daily. But this is the place where I come to connect, to encourage, and to offer up what I've learned, what I'm learning, and what I hope to achieve in the future.

So if you're with me and you're reading. I want to say thank you. Again and again. And again. I'm just one tiny little fish in this giant blogging sea, where the talent is great, and the blog layouts are just as GREAT. HA. I simply cannot WAIT to afford a spectacular and more professional looking layout--I have such great things in mind! Alas, I must stay close to my old pal, Patience !

Thank you for sharing this space of mine with others and for believing in me and my words. It means so very much to me.

I have big dreams in this life of mine. And yes, blogging professionally and writing and being a source of inspiration to others has certainly become a part of the equation :)

And now a CHEERS to:

- humble beginnings
- to each and every one of your blogs. (which, by the way, I so truly wish there were extra hours in the day for me to read every word of, ahh, it's so overwhelming. I want to give the love back constantly! To all of you.)
- to this incredibly loving, creative and supportive community we all belong to.
- to this strange and modern time we live in where we have the power to reach out and connect with one another in ways our grandparents never imagined.

CHEERS, because it's a remarkable thing.

FILM CLUB: The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)

{ source }

YAY, here we go. 

First mini film review for Punky's AFI Film Club! (These will be posted by 6 a.m. every Monday morning...had a late start today because there was drama last night at work and this morning I was greeted by menstruation/the joy of cramps... you know how that goes.. LADIES) ANYWHO---

As a film lover myself, I am so PUMPED to be paying the classics attention/tribute and I am further thrilled that so many of you are joining me in the process :)

The first film drawn was John Huston's The Treasure of the Sierra Madre, starring Humphrey Bogart (lovvveee), Walter Huston & Tim Holt.

Obviously, if you guys watched my silly v-log, you saw how clueless/uncertain I was about this film when I pulled it outta of my fishy bowl. I was totally like, huh? Really, this is the first one?? Am I really sure about this whole AFI Film List thing? I could just say F it, and resume to my episodes of How I Met Your Mother or just put on the 'ol Life Aquatic---Nothing wrong with those choices of entertainment. After all, they're in COLOR.

Ha. I will be the first to admit that, although, I have a lot of respect for the foreign films, for the documentaries, for the old classics... it takes a significant amount of patience to sit down and actually commit myself to these genres. Not only do you have to really be in the mood for it, you have to really talk yourself into being in the mood for it. And I don't know why that is, STILL, when nine out of ten times, I finish such films and find myself saying Wow, that was really good. I'm so glad I watched that.

Well, that's exactly what happened here, boys and girls. I enjoyed Sierra Madre through and through. Not only was it really funny at parts, (totally LOLed several times), but it had a lot to say about the human condition and how money and wealth can control us in ways that are simply just E-VIL. Though the ending was very frustrating, I love the lesson that was unfolded--the harsh reality that so many things in life come and go (money especially), and that it's crucial to hold on and put value on the things that actually matter--you're own self-worth, your own sanity, and your loved ones. 

Such a beautiful message. I nearly started crying when Howard was reading the letter from Cody's wife. Doesn't that letter just say it all?? 

This was a good film. Really really. And Humphrey Bogart, wow, still such a hot hot man even when he's all gross and covered in filth. Oh, and crazy.

Fun fact: Have you guys seen There Will Be Blood? Did you know that the director of that film,  Paul Thomas Anderson, drew much of his inspiration from Sierra Madre? Totally makes sense, right? So many parallels. 

Also, my sis watched this one with me and when it was over said it totally reminded her of that one episode of the Twilight Zone with the guys who stole all those bricks of gold and then went to sleep for like a hundred years or so (purposely) so that they could live without having to run away from their crime. Do you guys know which episode I'm talking about? I'm pretty sure I've seen it a long time ago, but would definitely like to see it again now. 

Anyway yay. Here's how this will work. If you saw this film too and have something to say about it, post up (or comment below, whatevs you'd like!) Keep it simple, maybe three points about the film.

Possible prompts (ew--prompts, I shouldn't use that word. Reminds me of college...gross.) Possible questions to answer:

What did you like about this film?

What didn't you like about it?

Who was your favorite character?

Your favorite part?

What lessons did you take from this film?

Did this film remind you of any other films (classic or modern)?

Would you recommend this film to others?

Then at the very end of course, if you could slap on our club button, that would be RAD.

<center> <a href="http://www.punkyandthecity.com/p/film-club.html"><img border="0" src="http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i108/passthebrie/punkyfilmclubbutton.jpg "/></a></center>

Really trying to get the word out about our little club here---it's hard when my readership is still small, and when I KNOW that there's probably many JUST LIKE ME thinking, "ugh... classic films...? That just sounds like a chore." But it's not, people! These films have a level of charm all on their own that don't even compare to films that are being made now. Maybe force your brother or sister or husband to watch it with you, or dare I say, your parents?? Chances are your parents have seen some of these and would be stoked to watch them again with you. I know I'll be watching many of these with my Dad. He's a huge fan of the old-timers. 

JOIN IN THE ON THE FUN!!!!

This week we're watching M*A*S*H (1970)

Get yourself a copy and join in on next week's discussion.

PUNKY'S AFI FILM CLUB.

(WHAT WHAT!!!!)