Confessions of a Wannabe Blogger.

Taken yesterday in Santa Barbara. Shannon and I had a lovely time strolling the charming streets & doing all of the following:

1.  Taking samples from every food joint that offered, including the ones that didn't (we asked).

2. Spending the standard unnecessary amount of time (but luckily, not the standard unecessary amounts of dollars) at Urban. 

3.  Searching high and low for any misplaced Black Sabbath vinyls to return to Shanny's beaufriend's home collection.

3. Eating way too many carbs for lunch. 

4. Scoping out deli/bakeries ISO some delicious pastries for dessert (to keep consistent with the massive intake of carbs), only to settle on a box of ginger chews from Cost Plus World Market (because we decided consistency is not friends with our thighs in this case).

5. Debating over face masks creams at some fancy soap store where I was involuntarily called out for abusing my skin and adding thirty days of age to every day in which I continue to not give two, three or four shits about applying expensive moisturizers to my face. (Uh, duly noted, SALESlady...I'm still not buying your overpriced product. But thanks for your free educating. And all the free samples.) We decided on a single container of reasonably priced face masking cream and went on our merrily way.

5. And, of course, getting way out of control with the iphone instagram, as any vain set of sisters should. (Scroll to the end of the post for some more winning shots starring yours truly. And her fabulous sister.)

[End ridiculously long photo caption]

Essha Maria. Heyyy. 

I'm feeling lame. And overwhelmed. Not in my life (at the moment), but in my blogging endeavors, oh yes.

Boy oh boy. 

It goes without saying, I'm falling short of sticking to my posting schedule, I knows. BUT. In my defense, I have been doing some heavy field research into this whole foreign world of blogging and it is absolutely mind-boggling. I don't think I've ever wanted to know more about something I know so very little about. I actually thought I knew a great deal about blogging, but man was I wrong. And it's both exciting and overwhelming. I have become so engrossed in reading and tapping into a resevoir of so many outstanding blogs (mostly all written by outstanding women) and I am so impressed and also intimidated with what I've found. It's the kind of intimidation that makes me feel remarkably less capable of baking so many sweet pies of quick wit and vivid content, but also inspired and determined to give it all I've got. 

This whole blogging movement is pure and utter madness. And I want in! I wanna be a blogger! 

And I wanna go to this Alt Summit extravaganza. I managed to learn of this event and other events of the like and I just thought, are you kidding me???

I feel like I've just stumbled upon the greatest calling of my lifetime. (Yahtzee!) Finally, something more concrete to do with my creative mind, my pen abilities (however great or small), and my love for networking, self-expression, and design. 

It would be presumptuous of me, of course, to think that any of this is going to be easy or that I will successfully be able to gather the same kind of following that so many of these other bloggers have. Or that I could even make a real living off being just that: a blogger. 

But man does my heart skip beats at the thought of it.

I have so many questions though.

How do these women find the time to post such thoughtful, entertaining and poised information on a daily basis? Are they all best friends with photographers? Or were they photographers themselves already? Or did they become photographers for the sake of their blogs (the route I'm most likely going to have to take). And for the photos that aren't their own, do they know most of the artists they are crediting, or do they have pending requests constantly to showcase work in their posts? Again, how do they have the time? Most of these women are mommy bloggers which only baffles me further. HOW DO YOU HAVE THE TIME?!? I'm sitting here, no kiddies of my own what so ever, mostly unemployed and I feel so crammed for time to sit and make sense of all my thoughts, to come up with a clear and precise purpose for each individual post, with the balanced amount of humor and offerings of wisdom & truth, with the perfect follow through in the form of a artsy, captivating image that isn't copyrighted, or just my face every time. (I do love my vanity, but it's probably not for everyone.)

Realistically speaking, I don't think it's my time here that's the enemy, so much as my discipline is. Discipline or no discipline, I'd be lying still if I didn't say this whole world of blogging is scary intimidating.

 But all the same time brilliantly inspiring. 

I do have much to learn. And much to type!

And my vow is to stay diligent. And stay true to me. Jen. Punky. Miss twenty-something with big dreams and determined spirit.

I do hope I can acquire an audience, and eventually a profession perhaps outta something like this, AND I do hope I can be at Alt Summit next year...holy canolies, that would be super duper neat.

But for now I shall carry on in my amateur blogging ways, and pray to God for the discipline to stay super close. 

All the while, I must be careful not to get too consumed in all of this just right away as I do have other priorities at the moment. I.e. getting my finances in order and getting to New York. These are still at the top of my list right now and still remains my main purpose here-to track most specifically that journey, but I'm sure getting quickly preoccupied and entranced in all this blogging business. I've been especially busy (and overly obsessive) putting my very humble html skills to work here. I think I'm content with the present look. Thoughts? (If you're reading this, tell me it looks GREAT. Quick, before I start feeling otherwise and spend more minutes [aka hours] changing it all up again.) (Thanks.) 

Of course there is still the restaurants I want to open, the books and plays I want to write, the husband I so truly want to locate someday, the kids I wanna produce, that cover of Maxim I wanna land (probably before the kids) and the whole world I wanna travel slash take over. But I'd like to officially invite "become a professional blogger" to the list. I think it is my right as a 21st century American woman to be ambitious as fuck, and so. There you have it. 

Yes I can. And I will ! :) 

Cute sister pants. I really love her.