me, myself, and i.

(and some trash cans!)

I think because I'm officially unemployed again/ about to get on a one-way flight in a week or so, I've lost my writing mo-jo joe-joe. I've just had a lot on my mind and it's been hard to sit down and get my fingers to do the talking. All I can muster out is, "hey kids, wanna go for some vodka?" And before I can really mean it, I resort to my bed where I end up napping for a good five hours. Only in between episodes of wishing Barney Stinson was a real person who I could marry.

Ah, I'm ok. Shit's about to get really exciting in my life. And I'm excited. I really am. But I'm also freaking out a little. Cause I'm a bit of a control freak at times and I do like to have a plan even though I dream about being "the girl with no plans".

Like I said, my writing mo-jo joe joe is out of commission at the moment and so I think I will participate in a link up right now. 

My girl Kristen is hosting this one so obvi I want in. Plus I think this might be a nice way for some of you to learn a thing or two about me, aside from the fact that I REALLY want to live in a New York ASAP and that I take wayyyy too many pictures of myself. 

So. Here are the ?s

1. What is your biggest phobia?

Definitely death. But not really death itself, more like, time of death. I am scared of dying young. Or dying before I have the chance to experience the things I want the most out of life. Not to say I'm not enjoying every moment as it comes or that I haven't been blessed with some incredible experiences in my life already, but there are other things that I desperately want for myself... like being a mother and having some tall, dark and funny lumberjack looking dude (or a Barney Stinson character) getting down on one knee. Ha ha, probably not in that order. But either way, I want those things. I also want to go places and see things in the world. I get scared of staying in one place for too long, for fear that I'm missing out on oceans of other cultures and experiences that at any moment can be stripped away from me in some horrible freak accident. I think I watch too much "1000 Ways to Die." I need to stop that. 

2. If you could relive any day of your life, which day would it be? 

Hmm. World Cup 1994? 2002? Brazil winning is always an emotional event that doesn't quite compare to anything else I've ever felt in this lifetime. And for the record---I know everyone always rolls their eyes or says "ugh" whenever it comes to the Brazilian team, cause we're so "full of ourselves"... blah blah blah...but whatever, dudes. We are the world's greatest soccer champs. Of course we are going to take pride in that. Of course we are going to celebrate and get loud and butt hurt whenever anyone else takes our crown and steals our thunder. I think that's only natural.

To be honest, I'm not even a huge soccer fanatic. I don't know all kinds of details about all the players on the team, or who's training where or when, or what games outside of World Cup are going on. But when the FIFA comes around every four years, you can bet your bottom dollars, I'm tuned in with the rest of my family. And we rage. I can't wait for our next victory. And until then, I'd love to relive the ones of the past. Those were some very happy days in my life. Not just cause winning feels good, but because celebrating a part of who you are feels good. 

Come on, 2014!!!!

Sisters and cousins goin' on a pride parade thru Ventura. We do this shit every World Cup... win or lose. 

3. If you could choose to stay a certain age forever, what age would it be?

This is a tough question because I've only lived for 24 years, and so I only know the life and times of a 24 year old. I think naturally, I'd pick to stay "forever young"... in my mid 20s now, but I don't know. They say sex only gets better with age... I think my 40s are going to be a pretty ravishing time, not afraid to say it. I also look forward to retirement someday. Sure, I'll be all wrinkly with gray hairs and stuff, but I'll have a garden and grandkids and season tickets to the regional theater. Maybe a porch? Sounds pretty chill. I also look forward to being old so that I can look back and do my favorite: analyze and reflect on every god damn thing that ever occurred in my lifetime. 

I hope blogging is still cool when I'm 70. 

Did I answer the question at all. I guess young? 25? I'll let the cliche win. P.S. I turn 25 next week... eeeee!

4. What celebrity do you get mistaken for?

Oh gosh. There's a few....

1. Amy Winehouse: Not so often anymore, but when my hair was black, I'd get it all the time.

2. Anne Hathaway: I don't see it. At all. But I'm totally flattered!!

3. Marisa Tomei: MOST common and my favorite. I do a happy dance every time anyone compares me to her. Have you guys ever seen My Cousin Vinny ? So good.

4. Punky Brewster: dur. 

For comparing/contrasting purposes...

1. A photo of me in case you don't know what I look like. (or forgot.) 

2. A photo of my Amy Winehouse hair days. Not the best photo, I'm aware. I most definitely look like I'm having an orgasm to some random fantasy novel. Also, I did something ridiculous with my hair in that specific photo, so don't be thinking that's how I walked around with my hair did. In summary, that was me circa 2006/2007 with my black hair. Being a strange person.

5. What songs are included on the soundtrack to your life?

Ah, so many songs that are near and dear. Here's a few of the constants:

Crimson and Clover : Anthem of my youth :)

Beautiful People : Such a perfect and beautiful song about loving your neighbors and being a friend to every soul you meet. I am constantly fascinated and interested in all kinds of people, so this song def speaks to me.

Wild is the Wind & Real Love : Brilliant songs that resonate with my ideas of what real love is and feels like. These are the love songs of my life.

Isn't Life Strange : A song my Dad used to play all the time. A little over the top, but I love it. A perfect song for my reflective soul.

Go West : Ok, this song is just SUPER DUPER corney, but it's another song my Dad used to play in the car and it's just so damn up beat and awesome. You know you agree. It's totally my "wake up and do epic shit today" jam.

Starlight : This is also my jam. I share it with my sister and we get gross excited every time it comes on. Also, Muse is my favorite band. Forever.

Suzanne : All I can say about this song, is...... Fuck. So beautiful. I know this song means so many different things to so many people, but for me it's all about letting go. Opening your heart and having faith in people/life/things. It's about living. feeling. believing. 

The Greatest : Another songs that speaks to my often defeated spirits. On letting go and not being too hard on myself all the time.

Stay or Leave : A song for some of my toughest break ups. This one says it all. 

Like A Prayer : Need I explain? Hands down one of the best songs ever. I go all out for this time. Everytime. Anywhere.

Weeeee. Happy Tuesday.