OH HELLO.

Sorry guys.

That was kind of a dick move to hit publish for the first time in oh, what two weeks? And for it to be for some hombre who followed me onto my 1 train.

Nevermind my man crazy ways for a sec. (I'm ridiculous, I know.)

HI. I HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL YOU.

I want to start with thanks.

THANK YOU, all of you, for checking in as often as you do and for not holding my lack of postings against me. I really cannot tell you how simply wonderful and fantastic it is to have an entire clan of awesomes cheering me on in this journey. You make me smile and dance and feel important+strong+bad ass. So thanks for that.

The good news is this: I found a job.

TWO JOBS, in fact.

(Si, many of these: !!!!!!!!!!)

Ha, there I was for a second mad stressing that I wouldn't be able to find even one job, and then at one point I had three jobs all at the same time, and basically had to choose which job to keep. (Not the worst problem I've ever had.) Then once I picked that job, I came up with a set schedule and went out looking for a day job to generate some extra pocket money.

Alas, I am now serving nightly at a Brazilian restaurant in the Gramercy and working in a cupcake shop in the mornings in the Fashion District.

Both great jobs with great companies. And it feels so good to now have an income. I.did.it.you.guys.

As far as housing goes, I did a little bouncing around in Astoria with friends of friends as I described before, and when that ended, I was thisclose to heading back to Jersey for a few nights until I found a new spot to crash. Definitely was not looking forward to such an event. But then. By the grace of God, I found a one month sublet in upper Manhattan with some actors for super cheap and moved my ass in immediately. It couldn't have been anymore perfect how it all happened. Literally, the night before my last Astoria deal ended, I posted on Janelle's list and that night I got a response. Next day, checked the place out, signed a check, and moved in that night! So now I'm covered with a roof until October 5th. And the new 20 day challenge is this: find a more long-term living situation.

I'm not sure if I'll be able to pull off signing a lease come October, but it's a good goal to keep in mind. I think I can do it!

And if not, then I just do another short-term deal. No problem. At this point, my stress levels have diminished a great amount. Ha, it must be my California vibe kicking in (finally.)

I bought headphones yesterday which were much needed. Jams on the train are much, much better than no jams on the train. With that being said, I need some new jams. Will you help me friends? Tell me three songs you are currently obsessed with at the moment! 

Things are still a bit hectic as I'm still trying to get finances/budgeting/housing in order. And am working A LOT in the meantime. However, once things do settle a bit more, I have a school of things I want to do with this blog and I really cannot wait. Really, thank you from the bottomsss of my heart for all of your love and support.

It really is such a trip to be here. What a long way this foolish lady has come in nine months, huh.

Leaps of faith, my dear friends. Take 'em.

Improv Bloggings.

Oh, hello. Don't mind me, I'm just practicing mug shots for my future Mug Shot Monday.

Haaa, have you guys heard of this site? I randomly clicked onto it the other day and a not only am I obsessed with it now, I'm obsessed with getting my own mug shot published.

Note to self: get a cooler mug, dude. School pride is pretty lame after you graduate college, unless you went to USC or Stanford or some shit like that.

Second note to self: Get a cool business that I own and operate to make that mugshot worth everyone's while.

Third note: Mugshot Monday= the new future Match.com ? Some of those shots have hot men with mustaches in them dot dot dot 

In other news. Happy Friday!

My posts have been few and far in between lately, and I can say much of that has to do with the fact that I'm trying to be a mother f-ing champ in life as I prepare for my move, and though there's been a little of that, there's mostly been a lot of sleeping in, watching episodes of How I Met Your Mother + a whole school of indie films on Netflix (I just saw Fish Tank the other night). Also, I've also been giving my blog design multiple personality disorder. Ha. So there's that too.

I wanted to do a clean up on aisle nine here and in the process made up a new banner which you probably saw before. Unfortunately, after staring at it long it enough, I did the opposite of convincing myself I liked it, so I changed it back to the old one. And now, I'm about to hand my blog over to the hands of an actual designer...TODAY. So give or take a month from now, my look around here will be official and legit. You can't wait. (and neither can I.) (really, neither can I.)

I decided to call this post "improv blogging" because it's a new thing I'm gunna try to do. See, usually I have all my posts pretty well thought out, unless it's a link up or something. Tho, I'm proud of the essays I've produced here, it takes a lot of work and definitely limits the amount of posts I publish on a weekly basis. I'm not really one to post weekend recaps or random ramblings, but I think it would be nice to just once a week or so, hit "new post" and just start typing.

Which is exactly what I've done here.

Hopefully I haven't just bored you to death.

Hey, are you guys participating in Blog Brunch tomorrow morning? Please say yes. I'd love to see your pretty faces there.

And if you have no idea what I'm talking about, click on the link. Or just show up on Twitter tomorrow morning under the hashtag Blog Brunch... at 10 am (pacific time). We'll be discussing Facebook!!!

xoxoxooxo

By the way: I've been feeling really defeated and scared about my move lately. But I want you guys to know that your comments and e-mails have been so sweet and reassuring. Thanks for restoring courage in me. You guys are like my new best friends.

Just In Case You Were Wondering Exactly How Weird I Am...

Here ya go. I'm feeling a little reminiscent of those college week day nights where I didn't feel like doing my Shakespeare reading, so instead I grabbed my room mate and demanded we make home bideos of us being ourselves, which needless to say=grade A weirdos. Eh, we're theater kids, after all. Feel free to unfollow me after this post. Or recommend me/my blog to any weirdos out there you might know. And when I say weirdos, I'm talking about the off beat awesome people of the world, not serial killers...thanks/love you. (I would hope you don't know any serial killers.)

PS. That's my college apartment we were playing in. Lots of memories in that little nook of mine. We called it the "Fungalow". It was our attempt to match the fun idea of having a college living situation that had a name... like all the guys in our drama department who lived together in a house and called it "The Dude Ranch". I was really hoping the Fungalow would catch on, and it would be the new fav. hang out spot for all the cool kids of UCI, but that didn't quite occur. Then Chris, my former room mate above (who I shared apt with) moved out and into The Dude Ranch.. ouch. Well, I don't blame him. They had a garage with a ping pong table in it and a driveway where you could park for free. All I had going at my place was shitty parking and a wall collage.

Hey now, it was a pretty sweet collage at least--- check it out.

And my old spacious room that I miss a lot lot now compared to my current room at the parent's place, where cleaning=stuffing things away in any space available which = none, which = a seemingly messy/ scattered room constantly.

I sure do miss you, Park West. You were a time in my life that now only exists as a memory. In many ways a sorta sour one, but in other ways, a very happy one. I lived a lot in that little college apartment of mine.

Happy Monday/President's Day.

Hola hola. I'm on my way to work, but I just wanted to pop in real quickly and make a small blessing upon the new week.

I went to church yesterday morning and it felt kinda good. I used to go to the church a lot when I was in junior high/high school. But then I stopped going...for various reasons. Anyway, good thing I went, or else I would have forgotten that this Wednesday is Ash Wednesday/beginning of Lent. Anyone participating in the "lenting" this season? What are you giving up? I'm still deciding. I mean I've already pretty much thrown gluten out the window. And actually, I haven't had a single sip of alcohol since the new year. Eh, maybe one glass of wine. But no whiskey or any hard liquor. This hasn't been intentional...liquor just hasn't been my choice of beverage. In fact, I've never been much of a drinker. Just a hardcore sugar addict.

Hmm.. maybe I'll give up jelly beans? (It's actually the only exception I've made for the no gluten campaign. Oh yeah and those two slices of pie. Whoops.)

I don't know. I don't usually participate in Lent, so I kind of don't even know why I'm talking about it/planning for it. I don't even know what LENT is. Do you? I'm kind of embarrassed to admit it. I never paid very much attention in bible school or during sermons. I just played footsies with all the boys sitting near me and drew doodles on the service programs.

Ha.

In other news, I may be a bit MIA on the posting this week. I'm getting my ass a Twitter account, doing some more blog networking, and hopefully giving myself some time to catch up on my reading. Oh, and OSCARS are this Sunday. I love the Oscars. Still got quite a few films to get to.

My step brother Mitch is in town from Canada as well, which is super exciting. He's a pretty cool dude. Lookin' forward to spending time with him.

All that plus work work work. Everyday I'm hustlin'.

Well, Happy The Banks Are Closed Today/ Monday. I wish you all a wonderful, happy, and productive week.

LOVE PUNKY!

xyzoo.

So yesterday my baby sis and her boyf went to the zoo. Here's some cute photos she brought home to me.  Elephants+giraffes+instagram, um yeah. How could I not wanna share.

Today was my first day at the steakhouse. It went fine, but my gluten-free/dairy-free diet is fucked. Let me show you how I mean.

See, when you start a new restaurant job, there is no arguing with statements such as, "Well you gatta try everything on the menu.. how else are you going to know what it tastes like? Here. JUST TRY EVERYTHING. FOR FREE."

So there's the piece of walnut chocolate chip pie I took home. And scarfed down.

I'm thinking tomorrow I'll go with the rubarb. Did you know that rubarb is a vegetable? I did not know this.

My room is a mess again.

And I'm sleepies. Just wanted to stop in for a quick HEY HOW YA DOIN.

I'm officially a full-time workin' lady again. And by full-time, I mean full-time. Seven days a week.

GAME ON, five grand. I'm coming for you.

Update in Five Minutes or Less.

photo credit

Hi. I could just eat tangerines all day long, how about you?

Um HAPPY SUNDAY! 

Another week passed in this glorious new year of challenge, transition, and conquering the world. 

I've got literally five minutes before I gotta hop in the shower and meet my pops and sis at the local cinema. 

But before I wipe off all the blood sweat and tears gathered from this weekend's marathon of pinning & blog surfing/educating/designing, I did wanna hand out a few updates. 

It's really no big deal or anything, but..... I GOT A JOB.

(!!!!!)

Well, I mean a second one. A second one that is much better than the first one. A serving one to be exact. In a popular, cute little Mom and Pop Steakhouse in Santa Barbara. They just recently lost one of their long-time servers and I swooped in and took the position like it was made for me to take. I start Wednesday (hallelujah!)

Let the official saving for NYC begin.

(!!!!!)

I am so happs! 

Also, whoah. I fail, I know. I was suppose to do my divorce post yesterday morning, but in the end it wasn't my Mother that got to me, it was Pinterest. Pinterest, you are naughty invention, yes you are. (But I love you.)

 I might be able to crank out the post tonight, I don't know we'll see. I def have some good stuff planned for the coming weeks. Excited to share!

Hope the day is being good to you.

TALK SOON.

- Punx

Here's the Thing.

It's not that I'm messy. My room is just really g damn small.

Three things fall out of place, and suddenly there's no where to step. Now let three things a day accumulate. Come Friday and I don't even wanna talk about it.

There's really no space for anything. And to think... I got rid of about 1/2 my belongings/furniture before I moved back into my family home space. 

It's really rather frustrating to have no room for any clutter or misplacing. I mean I have bigger things keeping me up at night, and a roof, American citizenship, incredible cholestral, and a package of smart water in my possesion to shut up my bitching and complaining.... on pretty much all accounts. But, I'm just sayin'. I'm not messy. I'm not. The perimeters of my room just SUCK.

Ok. Now that that's been said. Hiiii.

Hope it's been a productive week thus far. It has for me. Today, I've been especially busy, but rather cranky as well. (Have you caught that?) Yes, it is FACT that I can be a cranky little fish from time to time, especially if I haven't had enough sleep. And if I have a headache. And if.... I'm on day five of no gluten, no dairy. Um, yeah. What the fuck, is right. I'm doing it mostly for legit reasons, but also for a couple of dumb reasons. More on this later.

As for right now, I do feel slightly more prone to a secret shade of peachiness due to the facts that a. my room is completely clean. (Yep! I CRAMMED everything back into place...weeee) and b. my newest guilty pleasure is arriving to my television screen this evening. Some of you people out there may have heard of the show The Bachelor/Bachelorette. Yes, I'm obsessed with it too. Since Deanna. But what about SWEET HOME ALABAMA???? I am totally hooked. And in a way, I almost dare say, I enjoy it more than the Bachelor/ette. Yeah, it's kinda corney. And they're running on a much smaller budget...

"Tonight on our date we're gunna go to the local pub and shoot darts, and then we're gunna spend some time starring at the stars in the back of my pick up truck..." 

"Really? But, but, but Ben takes his girls on helicopters and to Panama!" 

-This would probably be my response. 

Actually no, it wouldn't. At all. But just to give you an idea of the two shows in comparison. 

I LIKE that Sweet Home Alabama actually sends their bachelors and bachelorettes on simple and practical dates.. because that's what dating is in real life....dinner and a movie. Not a private yacht and fireworks for dessert. Shit, I'd fall in love on date 2 too, if that were the standard.

Having seen, both the last season of SHA (Tribble's Season... dear people of the world, don't name your child "Tribble," by the way, thanks) and now Paige Duke's season (the current one), I'm both surprised and impressed with how much more real and down to earth the group of people they have on the show are. Certainly much more humility being shown than all the crazy crying bitches and boring yet pompous dudes on the Bach.  I mean there's still some real knuckleheads here and there on SHA (mostly the singles from the city... shame on them! They're makin' us look bad!), but I have a new respect for the Southern folk... they're sweet as pie, really.

And Bubba is HOT. Wow, maybe in 2013, when I'm taking romance applications from the male species again, I'll specify, "Cowboys: Strongly Encouraged to Apply!"

Until then, I shall live vicariously through Ms. Paige Duke. (Who is also very hot, my goodness. What a woman!)

(For the record, I do not take romance applications from the female species. But I do often comment on hot women and celebrate their hotness).

Anywhos. Oh, how I babble! Tomorrow morning I'm going to wake up bright and early and compose a post about my experience and opinions on DIVORCE. That is, unless, my mother catches me on my computer being super self-involved and demands that I help her with house cleaning. In which case, she wins, since she is currently helping me out with my car payments each month. Actually, in all cases, she wins. It's been that way since 1962 I think. When she was born. 

Alright, time for Bubba.

May you spend your Friday evening delighting in things as foolish as reality TV dating shows and...pinning. Yup, I'm signing up for Pinterest tonight! Let the new addiction begin. 

Love!

P.S. A warm, happy thanks to Ann Burr for highlighting my blog this week. Check out her awesomeness over at Alphabet Concepts.

Post Edit: I like Jeremiah from Minnesota as well. Mmm boys and bandanas.

Good Morning Jelly Beans!

Good Morning, Good morning!

I have to say, waking up at the butt crack of dawn is no piece of pie for me, but man is it rewarding. I just feel like the day is my oyster when things have already been accomplished and it's not even 8 a.m. yet, don't you?

Waking up at 5:30 and actually getting out of bed this morning, was actually fairly easy. You see, last night right before my head hit the pillow, I experienced what I call "my weekly frantic breakdown." I've been pretty SUPER GREAT at maintaining positivity and placing all my trust into the universe for all that lies ahead of me, but I still have those natural moments of "What if I am just a huge, stupid, silly complete waste?"

 I was doing the usual job hunting via the Craigslist/Monster/AppleOne, with the usual "ugh, not qualified enough", "ugh, too far away", "ugh, scam", "ugh, minimum wage", "ugh, long-term", "ugh, not dreamy or ideal in anyway shape or form, but OK, here goes more resumes I'm sending out, with desperate hope for a response" "ugh, that's all the job postings for today??", ugh, ugh, ugh. I have literally been going in circles in my attempt to find ANYTHING that will give me a light at the end of my savings tunnel, and it's been more of a struggle than I'd like it to be.

In an attempt to feel less defeated and lonely in my job hunting battles, I literally typed the following into my google search:

"I have a bachelor's degree and I can't find a job."

Ha. I was amused to find a handful of fellow frustrated young minds, including one gal in particular who was actively trying to sue her college for putting her in serious debt and not providing the proper assistance needed to find a decent job post graduating. I immediately thought, "I feel you, girlfriend". And then I thought, "Maybe I should sue too." Then I thought, "No, my decision to major in Theater would probably provide jack squat for my case." Finally, "Oh well, I'll just go cry it out for now.... and maybe tomorrow morning, blog it out". So that's what I did. I cried a little bit. And that's what I'm doing now. Blogging a little bit.

But before the tears, and after the job searching, I started thinking about this whole blogging obsession I have created for myself. And I started feeling defeated in that too. Because once you start feeling shitty about one thing, it's too easy to start feeling shitty about everything else. So you do. And I did. I started feeling like maybe I was putting too much time into all of this, and maybe revealing more about myself then I'd like others to know. I started feeling like maybe I was putting all these thoughts and feelings out there, and instead of being felt, understood and appreciated, I was being laughed at or made a fool, spillin' all my personal jelly beans. And then I started thinking, what if I fail at even keeping up with all of this, what if I don't make it to New York, then how stupid will I look? It was only moments after I had these unwholesome thoughts that my phone lit up with notification that I had been accepted to the private Blogstar group on Facebook. Immediately, I felt a small sense of glee, but it was quickly shot down with the heavier pre-existing vexation of unemployment that I proceeded straight to the tears. And so I had tears. And then I had some sleep.

And then I awoke. And no matter how early it is, or what's going on, or what happened the night before, there's nothing more amazing than the natural peace that a new day brings.

"Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." -Pslam 40:5

Indeed, it was the hope of a new day that opened my eyes earlier than usual, but it was also the collection of notifications that sent my phone a-buzzin', that not just woke me up, but prompted me to leap out of bed with smiles from ear to ear. I received a handful of warm welcomes/comments via The Blogstar Group and it made my heart beam with happiness and excitement. I thought, "Yay, there is new blogs to be explored, new friends to be made, and feedback to embrace!" So much positivity and determination restored. So thank you, thank you (seriously, THANK YOU) to Blogstar, and thank you to all my personal friends who have taken the time here to read my words. Some of you have been so kind to share your thoughts with me already, and I hope the rest of you (everyone) will continue to stop by and drop a line or two. It really means more to me than you know.

With all of the being said, I'm off to seize the day! I have plans later this afternoon to catch a free show of Lana Del Rey at Amoeba in LA. I will be accompanied by some of my most favorite people ever. Stay tuned for photos/recap.

Until then, Happy Tuesday to you. And please, don't follow my poor example of jelly beans for breakfast. Surely, this isn't the kind of "fruit medley" my diet has in mind for me...

Super Bowl/Super Indifferent

More confessions: I don't know how the game of football works. I mean, I have some basic ideas, but I don't really know all the rules of the game or why I don't care to know. But I just don't.

Given that on-going fact, Super Bowl is not something I find myself getting super amped up about. I mean sure, I like too many doritos, sangrias, and a buffet of cookies. The commercials are fun. The over the top, often laughable half-time performances are fun. And given the right crowd, the company could be pleasant. But, I just didn't wake up this morning with goosebumps for any other reason than the fact that it's just plain wonderful Sunday.

Do you love Sundays as much as I do? For most of my post high school life I have been scheduled to work Sundays which hasn't really lent opportunity to "a day of resting", but Sundays, still, have always remained a day of reflection, rejuvenation, and relaxation to me. Even on the job, there's a different vibe on Sundays. I feel more calm. It's a day to reflect on the week that has passed and a day to prepare for the week ahead. And if I am fortunate to have the day completely free and off the clock, it's usually a day well spent with either fabulous people or in fabulous solitude... doing absolutely nothing. And boy I sure do love the activity of "doing nothing". Sundays are great.

For many, today is a big-deal-kinda Sunday on the yearly calendar. For me, it's just a regular Sunday. And I'm not working! (for I don't know what day in a row now.... ha. There's the part of me that continues to freak out about this, but another part that is really enjoying the time off.) If I was in Orange County right now, I'd probably be at some sort of Superbowl celebration with many of my lovely friends, but I'm here in my parent's home in Ventura, where my mom currently has not football, but futbol playing on the tellie (as a Brazilian mama would). Stepdad and the healed brother (we all survived the potential contagion that greeted our household a couple days ago) are sitting in the living room watching some non-sport programming. Sisters are out and about. And I am here, sitting at my mama's kitchen table, feeling calm and content. Not like I'm missing out on this Super Bowl holiday or like I want a part of it in anyway. I'm content to just be here, chilling in sweats, eating granola and enjoying the day for non-commercial purposes.

And yeah, I'm reflectin' and plannin'.

The last couple weeks have certainly had their bang ups.

List of Bang ups:

- Cupcakes, lemon bars, muffins, and bagels. Welcome to my very part-time job as a barista, where I get paid a whopping eight dollars an hour and all the free baked goods my ass has never needed.

- Inconsistencies in my work-out regimen. Yeah, I was doing pretty good, and then I took a day off, and then another one, and then another one, and then I just said, you know what, "A week off is fine. If I get mad at myself for this later, I'll just blame it on my menstrual cycle. Spin class isn't going to help these cramps... but a free apple turnover might."

- Getting overly confident about landing certain jobs (that at this point in time I have not landed) and in that arrogant state, trading in my on-going job hunt for hours of blogging  research/designing/reading/excitement, which has been exhilerating, but not helpful in my quest to stronger finances.

- Staying up wayyyy too late and then as a result of it, waking up past noon. What am I? A high school sophomore on summer break? Disgusting.

and finally,

- Contacting Mr. WSC via e-mail. An idea that initially seemed harmonious and nourishing to the soul, but turned out to be anything, but. As if crying the entire time I was writing it and feeling more and more emotionally disturbed with every word I continued to write wasn't enough, I proceeded to hit SEND, only to guarantee my wave of emotions would quickly upgrade to a monstrous tsunami crashing into a sleepless night. And boy, did it ever.

 Lesson acquired with this one: The desire to stay connected to this man (even if it's only over e-mail), is not in my best interests, it's just not. The thoughts of him are still there, and try as I might, I cannot cut them completely from my mind. I can't. But, I can cut my attempts to continue chasing something that's not there. Even if it's only just a friendship at this point, a friendship is not something I can be true to and feel any sense of fulfillment from. Not with all these lingering feelings. Sooo I wrote him back one last time, really one last time, and bid him a final adieu. And then I threw every lasting reminder of him up high in box that I can't reach, and I threw away my step ladder. And then I prayed to God for some quick, fast healing.

Lesson acquired with all of the above: I'm not as focused and routine as I'd like to be with things right now. There's still sharp moments of heartache and pangs of helplessness here and there. But, for the most part, I'm doing pretty ok. And it's ok that I'm having bang-ups, there's no smooth sailing through times as awkward as these, I'm cutting myself some slack. For sure. I just gatta keep taking things one day at the time and keep my eye on the prize. I am so certain that New York is where I wanna be, and every day I am given constant reminders of this whether it's the unusual frequency of images popping out at me in stores, or people I run into that are either from New York or just came back from there. My favorite is when I tell people of my plans, and they're immediate response is, "You would do great in New York!" or "Good for you Jen, you've always talked about wanting to live in New York!"

It feels good to be chasing my dreams.

I'm ready to have a good, productive week. Job hunting, blog posting, gym sweating, early morning rising, soul feeding (not to be confused with love handle feeding) and all.

Happy Super Bowl/Happy Good Beautiful Sunday :)

Mid day babble.

My little brother is sick. Possible stomach flu. He's been throwing it up all morning.

Poor Guy. I really wanna hug him. But not half as much as I would like him quarantined to his room please.

Shanny (baby sis, older sis to little brother, I'll draw trees one day to explain the whole family system, it's good, modern, and complicated) came home from her usual over-night stay at her boyfriend's (his name is Bryant) and made her usual stop by my office (aka room aka bat cave) on the way into her own room to ask me how my day is going, at which point, I responded with "I don't know, I haven't seen the sun yet. Only the light from my computer screen thus far. Brandon doesn't seem to be doing too well, though. He's got the stomach flu I think....don't get too close to him." In which Shannon responded with, "What? Well, what is he doing in the living room then?? That's where people LIVE." In which, I chuckled in agree-ance, as he has apparently made post on our living room couch as his resting site.

Prayers for the infected brother.

I do have so much more to say, and so much I have wanted to say, but not enough copyright free images to accompany my words. It's important to me to paint a pretty picture here. I don't think my love for black and white mixed in with my dry humor is going to cut it in terms of aesthetics for this blog. It'll have to for this post. I'm vigorously working on creating some images of my own, which I am oh so excited to share with you.

Until the next one, good day. I'm hoping to return later with some real updates. Do wait for it.