<<< My old spacious living space, displaying some really cool furniture I impulsively purchased at IKEA not too long ago, but really didn't need. And now don't even have a place for.
Ok. Before I delve into this post, I just want to openly share with all of you that I have not shaved my legs in three weeks. While this, at moments, kinda grosses me out (like when I'm dressing into my pjs or undressing to bathe), it also kinda gives me another reason to embrace the luxury of being single.
I think after the gym tonight, however, I will promptly go home and shave. It is actually gross. But being able to get away with not shaving my legs this long, is kind of neat.
Alright. Now that I've sent that bit of TMI out into cyber space, let us embark on the treats I have prepared for today's blogging fete.
So, I wasn't happy with my situation three months ago. And by "happy", I mean, I wasn't feeling entirely fulfilled with my job, my environment, my financial planning, my relationship, and just with myself. So I split. I said so long, knowing that there were bigger and better things waiting for me elsewhere. While, I do feel confident I made the right move (however difficult it has been to trust that I did), I do wish I had not been so impulsive in the way I went about making these huge changes in my life. It was as if somebody said to me, "You don't like it, change it." And I said, "You know what, you're right. I don't like it. Therefore, I resign. IMMEDIATELY. Right now. See you later, bye." Although, I do have to give myself credit for being so self-aware and fearless of welcoming change, my patience and wise planning really need some help.
For starters, I don't advise ever quitting your job unless you've for sure got something (anything) lined up instantly after. Especially in this yucky economy, and especially if your bank account currently reads zero dollars. Moving back in with your parents doesn't mean Starbucks, gas, cell phone bill, and car payment comes with the package deal of "no rent" (notice how the first thing on that list is Starbucks. I obviously have my priorities 100% straight). This is not what it's like in my household, anyway (...and thank God. However jealous I am at times of how easy other kids have it with all the Mommy and Daddy financial help, I feel grateful that my parents have raised me to take intense financial responsibility on my own). With all of that being said, my parents are actually helping me out quite a bit right now. Ha. I can't sit here and type otherwise, they are totally giving me a pretty gracious break. And I'm totally thankful, but its super crummy not being able to entirely pay my own bills right now, and it is scary not having a full-time job locked down with insurance that I have a steady amount of money coming in to pay back my parents and start saving for the things I'm hoping to accomplish this year. In summary, don't assume any job you worked at for a long, long time once (and left on perfectly stupendous terms) is going to be willing to hire you back instantly at any moment that you should happen to stroll back in (especially if it's a restaurant job in the middle of January). If you're gunna quit your job, cool. But maybe think about having something else officially lined up before you go folding your cards completely.
Also, this is slightly out of context, but definitely in the category of "silly impulsive behavior". If you're ever thinking about spending a lofty amount of money on IKEA furniture, maybe don't do it when your on a month to month lease in a living situation you don't see being long-term. The last of the money I had floating around post job resignation, definitely went into paying a stupid amount for a U-HAUL only to discover that my room at my Mom's isn't even big enough to house half of my furniture, which has resulted in placing some of my furniture in our family storage unit... and some in one of my sisters' room. (Yeah, you're welcome Shannon, for the fucking awesome dresser and cute little coffee table.) So cheers to impulsively spending $1000 on IKEA furniture, and another $300 more on moving it, only to find you no longer have space for half of it, and are going to abandon the rest when you go moving across the country in soon time. Point made, I make dumb, impulsive choices/purchases. But for the record, I would like to say that I am an incredible furniture assembler. Yes, I take direction well from picture cartoons, and I can handle a hammer (and a screw driver). Does that turn you on? If you happen to be a male reading this, it should.
I think above all, it's important to prepare yourself mentally for major life changes. The journey from point a (where you may be comfortable, but not entirely content) to point b (the place you'd like to be), is never an easy one. And any transitions between the two are usually not going to be comfortable or convenient. This has to be considered before you go forward and make any moves. I mean, it doesn't have to, but I can only imagine it makes for a hell of an easier time, if you take the time to mentally prepare yourself and just line up the right attitude and endurance. Kind of like when your training for a race---Except I don't like using "races" as metaphors for my life, since I'm learning that I seem to approach everything in my life like I am "racing" against some super fast ticking time bomb. Which, on an entirely separate topic, is super unhealthy---I just wanted to provide a good example for what I mean by preparing yourself mentally for big changes. And yeah, it's like training for a race. In a 5k, it's usually the second mile that's the hardest part of the entire race. Knowing this to be the case, in advance, you are better prepared to truck thru that mile 2 when you are in it, rather than not know it and discover it for the first time in the midst of... making it far more challenging (and likely to surrender to exhaustion or defeat. Luckily, I haven't fallen victim to exhaustion or defeat in my surprise discoveries of just how hard transitions can be, but... I have come pretty close at moments.)
I don't know why I thought that moving back into my Mom's was going to be this super easy transition. I didn't even think twice about it, I just did it. And then it wasn't until I was here, that I realized, Oh wow, I've been gone for five years, there's actually a huge disconnect from this town now, and I'm really far away now from the people and neighborhoods I have grown close and comfortable with the past several years. I don't know anyone here anymore.. except my family. Ok, I know a few people here, but... kindaaa awkward reaching out to them now, and being like, "Hey, sorry I've done a real shitty job staying in touch the last five years. But I'm back now, wanna be friends again...? PLEASE?"(Dear Mom and Dad, thanks for producing more children after me. I love you, sisters. Thanks for hanging out with me...every day.)
Without further ado: Welcoming change in your life is excellent, but in that movement, practicing patience and preparation is a great idea.
I'm kind of learning this the hard way, but I feel myself coming through both gracious and strong. I'm learning that, in anything new or different, the first steps are always the hardest. And you can't get from point a to point b overnight. All I can do is take things one day at a time, and like I just was telling a friend, relish in the fact that I'm learning so much about myself in this process of change and transition.
Ok. Time for gym. And shaving of the legs. Bye.