When Guests Complain.

(Photo: Jason Langer)

Here's an embarrassing scenario:

You're a waitress-one who prides herself on being a good one-one that listens, that connects, that doesn't get frazzled (or at least doesn't show it), and ultimately just provides impeccable services to all her tables. Always. Then one day, you show up to work--happy and ready for another night filled with serving and feeding the people, when your boss immediately asks you to talk, to "have a seat."

Uh oh.

(Panic. Fear. What did you do wrong???)

He goes on to tell you that he received a phone call.

(Ok. Definite panic. Definite fear. Wrong doing confirmed.)


A guest called and complained about your service. Not about the food, not about the restaurant in general. About you. *Your* service.

I know someone this happened to.

That someone was me. Last week.

Mind you, this is the first time in six years of waiting tables that I've ever had anyone call in and complain about my service (at least that I know of). Sure, there have been times in the past where I've been called out for certain things (when I first started out serving, for sure). And one time not too long ago, there was a woman who mentioned to my manager that I was "too chatty." However accurate that may be, I can't take complaints like that seriously. If you don't want me talk, don't ask me personal questions about my life. Just let me top off your lemonade and simply carry on as a waitress as I do and chatty crisis adverted.

In general, I haven't often gotten in any trouble. No sit downs & "you screwed up, kid", no "you're fired"s, no "you're suspended", no nothing. I've only been called into the principal's office once. It was in junior high and it was to be congratulated on a poem I wrote.

Needless to say, last week's sit down with my boss was a pretty traumatic moment in the life and career of a Punky cherub. Especially since it is a new job and I'm really trying to do everything, but disappoint and put my standards and executions in question.  It runs even deeper than that. Being the passionate person that I am, I take pride in all that I do. When I mess up, I don't just let others down, I let myself down. It was hard to sit there and hear things like, "You need to focus on being more engaging with your tables" and "when we hire around here, we aren't looking to hire people that are 'ordinary'. We want only the best."

Ouch.

As it turns out, this event of "bad service" occurred on a night that was crazy busy. Not to use that in my defense, but yeah, I do use that in my defense and I think it's perfectly acceptable. Sometimes, as servers, we do have a lot on our plate, more than what should be allowable (IMO), and what more can we do than just roll with the punches and hope for the best. I mean, honestly, if I could have skipped my turn in getting seated again that night, I would have, but there wasn't anyone else who could have taken those new tables anymore than I could. We got hit. Hard. All at once. As if having too many tables all at once wasn't enough, one of those tables was the waitress who trained me and her entire family, which couldn't have been anymore perfect on such a night, because I really got to show her how much I didn't know what to do (in reality, what I didn't have time to do), and that was enough to go home and be bummed out about as is. It came back to haunt me, naturally, with a hard list of all the things, "I missed" from said trainer, the following shift. Only before, the complaining guest on the phone.

Just all around great. The irony is that, on my way to work that gloomy day of harsh feedback, I was beaming with pride and satisfaction from having read a positive Yelp review that included my name in it. Ha. No joke. I guess it's really true what they say: you win some, you lose some.

There really were so many things I wanted to say when my boss was sitting there implying I was "ordinary" and lacked the ability to be "engaging". Among those things I wanted to say most was, "Wait, what????" But alas, all I could do in that moment was nod my head and finish the conversation off with a very meek "I'm sorry" coupled with an awkward slash forced smile. I was in such a state of shock, and honestly just very embarrassed. I went home sad. Sleep was lost, and some more sadness waited for me in the morning.

Being the confrontational person that I am, I went back into work the next day and this time, I asked my boss to take a seat. Having stayed up half the night thinking about what I wish I would have said in the moment of being talked to, I did just that. I said what I was too preoccupied with shock to push out. With lots of tears, mind you. Yes. However confrontational I am, that confrontation pretty much always comes with tears. I speak the truth often, but rest assured, my little voice is always shaking. I don't know if this is something I'll ever conquer, but at least I'm able to get my words out.. one way or another.

I told my boss point blank how disappointed and embarrassed I really was, and how hurtful it is to be thought of as just "ordinary." I explained to him that I do feel as though I am engaging with my tables, and though it is, in fact, recognized, it is a recognition that is usually delivered to me and me alone at my tables. And still, I will continue to try and do a better job. I explained to him how much the value of providing good service really means to me--even more than any good tip. And how the job is important to me. I feel happy and blessed to be a part of his team, and the last thing I want to do is put my standards of service and my position in question. Lastly, I thanked him for taking the time to talk to me and I let him know that any feedback whether good or bad, is taken to heart, always.

Thankfully, the boss was very gracious and compassionate in response to my thoughts and feelings, which was essential in moving forward in a healthy and productive manner. It felt good to get those things out. Am I still bummed out? A little bit, yeah, but at least my boss knows where I stand.

At the end of the day, things aren't always going to go according to plan. Not everyone is going to go home happy, not everyone is going to be as forgiving or understand what "too many tables at once" means, not everyone is going to share the same interpretation of what good service looks like, etc. On the flip side, I'm not going to always be able to provide the very best service to everyone all the time. I can try, and I do, trust me I really do--but a perfect set of circumstances isn't always there at my service. All I can do, is keeping working, keep smiling, and keep improving in any way possible. That's all anyone can do.

What about you? Have you ever received complaints on your service/performance on the job? How did you work through the disappointment and embarrassment? Do share.. it'll make me feel a whole lotssss better :)

In Defense of Restaurant Servers. PART ONE.

(photo cred)

I've been waiting tables for over six years now. If there's anything I could change in my life, I promise you that being a waitress is not one of them. The hospitality industry has taught me a lot. More than one post can begin to explain, which is why this very well may turn into a two or three part post. Come what may.

I am a proud working restaurant server. I am. So naturally, when stories like this one start circling among the social networks, I find myself upset and irritated with how ignorant and just down right rude some people can be. Turns out, this particular story turned out be a hoax, the receipt was photoshopped. And still, if you scroll down to the end of the article and read over some of the comments, you'll see that there's still some pretty baffling opinions towards individuals who work as servers and towards the traditional practice of tipping your server. 

Fact of the matter is, I can't explain entirely what working in a full-service restaurant is like. My opinion: everyone should work in the hospitality industry at one point or another. I've worked in quite a few different restaurants, in a quite a few different locations. From sushi to Italian to mom and pop to fine dining. From small privately owned joints to large corporations. From humble little Ventura County to the high and mighty Orange County and Beverly Hills. Whether I'm toping off iced teas or bordeaux glasses of wine, I assure you, there's a hell of lot more to the job than just keeping your drinks refilled and taking your order. Doesn't matter what kind of establishment it is either. Any serving job, plain and simple, is challenging. 

In defense of those, myself included, who choose this line of occupation, I would like to elaborate on why it is exactly we choose it. And why exactly there should be no shame in saying, "I'm a restaurant server. And no, this isn't just a job. It's my career."

I don't know why, but for some reason, the title "server" has developed this weird negative connotation to it. As if it can't be taken seriously as a "real job". I used to work with this woman Kristy. She had to be in her mid thirties. Married with kids. Had worked at this particular establishment since it opened and loved her job. I remember talking to her one night about being a server. She admitted to still feeling embarrassed at times to tell others that she "waits tables." She talked about wishing she could just confidently state, "I'm a server." But she could never stop at just that, "I'm a server." She always felt obligated to follow up that statement with some sort of reasoning or explanation as to why. Which is silly. Sure, there's a lot of people who take waiting jobs as a means of survival while they work towards other things. College students, actors, artists, musicians, individuals who are in between career changes. It's a great way to get the bills paid with flexible schedules and free gourmet cooked meals. But just as much as it is a great gig for said individuals, it's an even greater gig for those who love serving. Those who love being around people. Those who are passionate about food and wine. Those who are good at selling. Those who work extremely well under pressure, constantly. Those who can multi-task. Those who can multi-task quickly. Those who can entertain. Those who want to move up into restaurant management. Those who eventually want to open up their own restaurant someday. Those who want to invest in other restaurant concepts. Those who want to build restaurant corporations. Those who want to show Darden who's boss. Ok, now I'm just getting carried away climbing my own personal ladders. Let's go back. Serving can be a great gig for those who love to serve. Those who consider waiting tables an art. Which I do believe it is.

Like I said, it's hard to explain everything a serving job truly entails, but I assure you, not everyone can do it well. Understand that, as a server, our employers are only paying us minimum wage. It's up to us, to not only maintain good standing with the establishments we're working for, to please our employers and carry out our numerous duties, but to carry it out exceptionally well so that the guest is happy and will tip us. Obviously, the tipping is where all the money is made, and that's a whole separate can of worms to unlock in part two of this post, (since there seems to be some pretty harsh opinions against the concept of tipping). But what I'm trying to say is that, as servers, we have to go into work everyday and truly earn our pay. There's a responsibility to not just our employers to do good, but to our own wallets as well. If I'm having a bad day, which I certainly have them (not too many bad ones, mostly moody. Ha, I can be very moody somedays), I can't just go hide behind a desk or go to the back and wash dishes or take inventory. No. I have to go to my tables, ready to interact and serve, with a huge smile on my face. Which can be quite exhausting for even just your average easy-going table. Now throw a couple of miserable a-holes into the mix who seem more interested in putting you down as a human being rather than enjoying a pleasant dining experience/life, and now I'm just as moody as moody can be. And still, I have to wear that smile on my face, make apologies to the moon and back for whatever it is they're miserable about, with or without the hope that still they'll leave me a small ten percent tip in the end. With serving, comes a heavy practice of patience. Constantly. 

And so does owning up to your mistakes on a regular basis. The restaurant business is very fast-paced. Unpredictable and often chaotic. Which means tons of room for mistakes to be made. One of the greatest things I've ever been taught by my fellow serving companions is this, "Be quick, but don't hurry." With that piece of advice in mind, I have managed to eliminate many mistakes made on my own part. But I still make them. Furthermore, I can't control other mistakes made by my staff. They happen. And constantly, I have to own up to them. I have to go to my tables and tell them, "I'm sorry, but I forgot to ring in your drink order." "I'm sorry, but I forgot to ask you how you would like your meat prepared." "Unfortunately, your dish was delivered to the wrong table, it's going to be another ten minutes as the kitchen is firing a new dish for you. I'm so sorry." "I'm sorry, but I ran the wrong credit card on your bill." etc, etc, etc. There's just so many things that can wrong, and I assure you they all do at one point or another go wrong. And there's no covering any of it up. I am constantly having to be open and honest and communicating with my tables. And swallowing my pride. Admitting that I messed up and doing whatever I can to remedy the situation. Taking the blame myself for things that sometimes I didn't do, instead of blaming it on the kitchen, or the busboy. Because we're a team, and it doesn't matter who's fault it was, all that matters is that the guest is informed, and ultimately satisfied. 

There's an exceptional amount of yelling that goes on in the restaurant as well. Though, I am still at times sensitive to yelling guests, I have grown used to yelling employers. You just eventually learn not to take things personal when your chef or your manager is yelling at you. As long as they aren't personal attacks on you as a person, it's simply just raised voices under pressure. Which they can get away with fine, but as a server, all we can do is nod our heads and get going. You really have to go into every shift ready take fire in any which way. Whether it's necessary or not. And we do. 

And in the process of staying upbeat while working under pressure, dealing with disgruntled guests, owning up to our mistakes, getting yelled at by the chef, practically losing our minds at the server stations because we only have 8283 things to do all at once, doing a lofty amount of sidework (which most people don't even realize... um yeah, we polish all your silverware, all your glassware, sometimes bus all your tables, fold all your napkins, make sure all your condiments are filled to the brim every time you come in, your tables are wiped down and swept underneath, the entire restaurant is broken down, spotless and clean, only after a long night of running around), in the process of all these things, we also sell expensive bottles of wine, make recommendations that prove to be great, magically manage to have everything hit the table in the most perfect timing, against all odds, and in the end, provide a memorable dining experience. And if we are truly blessed, we get to do more than just that. We get to laugh with our tables, sometimes cry with our tables, experience all kinds of interesting people, people who aren't just interesting, but interested. People who want to know more about you then just the name that reads on your server name tag. This is truly the best. I mean, yeah, obviously I like to talk about myself. Not a problem. But really, there's nothing greater than the unexpected connections you make with your guets. It's just nice sometimes to have conversations with my tables, even if it's just a small debate over who's a better trainer: Bob or Jillian. 

And when I'm not interacting with my tables, I'm interacting with my co-workers who are always the most exciting and eclectic group of people the world has to offer. All in one space. Who naturally become my very best friends, my family. Who I work with, in a huge collaborative process to execute an exceptional dining experience, from the steward who washes your dishes, to the hostess who greets you at the door and takes you to your table, to me (Hi!) the server who guides you through the menu and see's to your every need, to the cooks who cook your food, to the chef who expedites your food, to the runner who runs the food to your table, to the busboy who cleans off your table, to the manager who oversees the whole circus of events that you often don't grasp much thanks to that glass of chardonnay and your chatty friend Kathy.

The restaurant business is a beautiful thing. Like many others, I love my job as a server. Sure, it has it's rough points. I've enjoyed working in some restaurants much more than others, but when you find the right place, the right concept, the right standards, the right group of people, it's really a pretty grand line of work. And I've been doing it long enough now, that I can confidently say, I'm good at it. 

If you're good at something, and you love doing it, and you make great money from it, why shouldn't it be considered a real job? Why should you feel ashamed to call it your career? Remember, I believe success is doing what you love. Don't let any ignorant fool trick you into believing that what you love to do is a joke. It's not.

Here's a great article I came across that I think ties in well with my little (huge) piece here.

Stayed tuned as I assemble a part two to this post on why it's nice to tip your server. Always.

Until then, what are your thoughts about serving as a career? The restaurant business? The comments on the first article? I would love to hear!

Productivity at its FINEST.

Well, I don't know about you, but I'm feeling like a real CHAMP today.

Yes, I washed the dishes. 

I also filed my taxes. 

I don't think I need to emphasize what level of tedious/ambitious that one falls under, but I did it. All on my ownsies. I mean, yeah Turbo Tax makes it pretty easy to do, but trying to track down some of my W-2 forms from last year along with school documents, previous tax info, etc... another story. Anyway, it's done. Sent. And the best part? 

I'm getting THREE GRAND BACK. 

Oh yeah, hi. That's why I wait tables. Tips and PHAT TAX RETURNS.

(& free pie.)

(I went with blackberry the other night, as opposed to rhubarb by the way.)

( P.S. not only did I not know that rhubarb was a vegetable, I didn't know how to spell it. Thanks for the proper spelling, Meg)

(P.S.S. Here's a picture of said pie. As you can see the photo was taken mid-gorge.)

(It was ridiculous.)

I'M GETTING THREE GRAND BACK!!!

My mind is already running miles and miles away with lists of stupid purchases I'd like to make.

BUT.

I may not. make. stupid. purchases. with. huge. tax. return.

None what so ever.

Only because it's been brought to my attention, that some fabulous people I know, aka my family, don't really think I'm financially responsibly/saavy enough to pull off moving to New York. 

Lets do some math, shall we.

 Is it a practical move? No. 

Am I really all that financially responsible? No.

 Are they right for being at all craaaaazy skeptical? Yes. Ha, they so are! 

Truthfully, I have a savings account, but it's never had any savings in it. EVER. At the moment, I currently owe all kinds of stellar amounts of money to my credit cards/the government for school loans. And I'm only about three months behind on my car payments (no big deal). Financially, I'm not that impressive, ok, I admit it. But I've always been this way, and I've always managed to get by just fine. 

It's only now, this fantastic new year, that I'm attempting to do something out of the ordinary. I'm proposing that I finally pay my dues here and there and actually save a large sum of money in order to move cross country. For me, this a pretty tall order. And it is kind of funny. I'm not good or wise with money. I'm not.

But HEY. Correct me if I'm wrong.....I'm pretty sure there's a little saying that goes, "Where there's a will, there's a way." Similarily, Where's there's a Punky, there's Power. Power to MAKE DREAMS HAPPEN. So, for like the 100th (or maybe only like the 10th time on this blog), I'm doing it!!!! I'm paying off my debt, I'm saving five grand, and I'm moving to New York. (In that exact order.)

THIS IS HOW SERIOUS I AM:

I made a New York folder!

  

And a Finance tracking sheet!

Yup, I'm turning this whole moving to New York thing like my very own big DIY Life 

Project. 

And it's going to be one hell of a finished product. 

You'll see.

The big fat zero dollars saved so far on the tracking sheet, is a bit discouraging, Yes. BUT, I'm on my way. I'm just gunna focus on paying off my credit cards first, paying my mom back for all her generous help, and paying off some other stupid things I neglected to make payments on, i.e. a pap smear from last year and my Disneyland pass. I'm really funny, I know. And by funny, I mean dumb. But here's to changing that.

This time, next year, I'll be posting from a little cafe in Soho. Or from my little home in Brooklyn. Wearing a Yankees hat, and a big comfy scarf. And it's going to be EPICALLY GREAT to link back to this post.

:)

Happy Saturday to you. I'm going to enjoy the rest of my evening with some sorbet and some Bubba. 

Punky

Photos used for collage on my folder: Various sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6