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4.27.2012

Ok, Time to Get Ripped.

Hi. I do not get dressed up for the gym. I look like a haggard mess and then I sweat a crap ton, adding to the haggard-ness even more. And guess what. I don't care! What's up with all these other chicks dressing up like they're going to a MISSED CONNECTION? Are they joking me??

Ok, time to get RIPPED.

I'm serious this time. Just like I was all the other times. But this time. Really, I am. How do we know I'm serious: because I'm blogging about it.

I'm coming to realize how accountable one becomes of themselves when they put things down in writing. Especially in a public domain. It kind of adds a new layer of pressure and expectation on oneself (wow, I sound so formal this morning-sometimes I forget I'm not writing a college paper....[ever again]). For a gal who is often severly discipline-challenged, this is a bright and promising approach. AND SO, in spirit of all the "healthly/lets get fit/lets feel good" posts I've been reading lately (love it), I'm composing my own. BOOM.

Let me start off by saying this. Honestly? I'm pretty comfortable with my body image. At 135lbs / 5'7 / Size 6 jeans (size 4 at the GAP #reasonsilovethegap) I sit comfortably. Does this mean I don't have a collection of physical insecurities? HECK NO, mamas! Of course I do. I'm human. And those magazines and those televisions sure like to flash images at us constantly that make ALL of us feel like much less than we are. It's annoying, I agree with you. But, I've managed to not let those things get to me. I don't stress over my flaws, I don't demand the lights be turned off when I'm getting intimate with someone, I don't "stay-in" because I feeling like I'm "too fat" to go out (seriously ladies--don't be hatin' on yourself like that-it's ridiculous. GO OUT and have a fun time. No one is seriously going to be looking over at you at any point of the night and think, "wow, she's not thin enough to be outside her home enjoying this fine Friday evening." Are you kidding me? NO. That DOESN'T happen. If you're feeling a little less hot than usual, just put on something that flatters your figure. Put on some black. Put on some lipstick (easiest boost of confidence right there). And maybe have a a glass of wine or two before your GFs pick you up. But whatever you do, don't let your insecurities rob you of your Friday evening. You're robbing yourself in the process.) And most of all, I certainly don't say no to cupcakes when I really want one. To enjoy life means to enjoy cupcakes. It's ok. All is OK in moderation. 

To go back to the bit about having the light turned off during moments of intimacy (sorry, not my most organized post here. Now I remember, I'm not writing a college paper.) I wanna share a quick little piece of reassurance that was delivered to me once by a dude friend of mine. I don't even know how the conversation started, but somehow I think I mentioned the fear/insecurity of taking your clothes off in front of a guy for the first time, and how you worry about what they may think. To which, this friend of mine, quickly responded with, "Jen. We're guys. What girls need to understand about guys, is that when a girl is taking her clothes off in front of us, the last thing we are thinking about is how her physical appearance is disappointing us in anyway. We're not even thinking about that at all. The only thing we're thinking is, 'she's taking her clothes off!!!' We're excited about it. Especially, if it's a girl we're really interested in." Pretty straightforward outlook from a dude person, no doubt. But there is depth there in what he said, and it has stuck with me ever since. I don't demand the lights to be turned off. I never have. But while I have thought about it in the past and almost wished it at times out of fear of judgement, I don't anymore. 

I'm content with the way I look. I'm freckly and curvy like my Brazilian mama, and I've got assets I should stop taking for granted so often. BUT, there is always room for improvement, right kids?

Right. So I wanna tone up. I've managed to maintain the same weight (give or take a few pounds) since high school and that, in itself, is something to be proud of given all the stress that I've juggled since June 2005. But there's been areas of FLAB all along that I have been meaning to tackle. At times, I have, but then it's back to one toooo many jelly beans and BOOM, it's back. Well. This time around I don't just wanna FIGHT THE FLAB! but I want to KILL IT. For good. Do you see the serious-ness and ferocity in my all caps there? Yeah, this is for real.

Cause not only do I want to look good better for New York/the summer of my 25th birthday, but there is no doubt that being active and taking care of your body as best you can, makes you feel good. Even if you can't physically see the changes right away, your mentality shifts immediately for the better. It really does. You have more energy and you have more confidence. Facts.

I've been running long distance on and off since I was 14. (Ran Cross Country in both HS and junior college) and I want the discipline and intensity of all of that back. I wanna seriously be like one of those crazy frequent marathon runners and/or Jillian Michaels. Well, maybe not that ripped, no offense, Jilly, but I just wanna be able to comfortably wear dresses like this awesome new one, with out fear that people are judging my back fat. Cause sometimes, even with the lipstick on and the glass of wine or two you still irrationally freak out that people are having entire conversations about the visible flaws your sporting. #thatslife #thatsbeinghuman #thatsbeingagirlinthisdayandage #america. 

(I like to hashtag my life away. Have you noticed?)

DRESS:


HOW cute?? My sister Michelle GAVE it to me. Sometimes she likes to scream at me for wearing a shirt of hers that surely I didn't think she cared about anymore because I found it in a garbage bag titled "GOOD WILL". Other times she is handing me dresses by Free People for FREE. And I'm a lot confused, but I don't ask questions. I just say yes and immediately try it on and then ask her to take pictures of me so I can instagram it. And then hug her. And then finally, hug the idea that I want to look the very darn best I can in said dresses. 

So here we go. Time to get ripped. I'm doing three days on//one day off with special focus on my core and my arms. And just trying to get more seasoned on the distance running again. I'm definitely not running the six and seven miles a day that I used to. I want those days back. And also, I just want some balance around here. I've been getting pretty lost in all of this blogging lately, and it's great, but I need fresh air, and I need some physical movement up in hurrrr. 

I'll leave you with some tips from my very own gal/hero. The REAL slim shady.


your turn:
- Where do you stand with your body image? Are you guilty of always saying no to cupcakes even though deep down you are crying for one? Demanding to have the lights off? Obsessing over calories? Stay in because you feel fat?
- Do you have any advice you can add in terms of body image and boosting confidence on those nights when you are feeling less spectacular than usual?
- Wanna get tone with me?? Let's e-mail and talk accoutability!!!

Body image can sometimes be a tough one to talk about, because everyone is usually on different paths with it-though I'm sure many of us share the same insecurities, no matter what size we are. I really just welcome you to share any thoughts you may have here. Even if it's just, "GO PUNKY!" because, hey, encouragement is awesome ! And you know how much I love itttt :)

P.S. In other topics, have you guys thought about putting together a post of your favorite instagrammers?? No? Well,  you should!!! My first round of Punky's Picks is up and it's lonely. It needs some friends--would love it if you took the time to share your favorites and linked-up. Link up is open for an entire month! gogogogo.

HAPPY WEEKEND FRIENDS!

16 comments:

  1. Amen to this post! Kick ass at the gym :)

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  2. Good for you for deciding to get back to the gym! This is something I've been working on since mid-December, and it is HARD. Up until last year this time, you and I could have traded clothes, then a desk job caught up with me and I gained 20 (yes, TWENTY) pounds. It's been a lot of work trying to get it all off again, but it makes me feel better just to know that I'm trying. Great post!

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  3. (Ok...wtf. I literally wrote this entire comment and then somehow deleted it. Grr.) I love that dress though! Last year I shed about 10 lbs and got to a weight that I'm happy enough with. I quit counting calories and kept drinking beer (while working out semi-consistently) and have maintained for the past year. I would still like to lose another 10 to be more "comfortable," but I still love beer and food. I guess I've come to realize that there are plenty of things left to make me happier than my pants size. I should get my ass in gear though and shed the last 10...

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  4. First off. I think you're gorgeous. you have a good point though, there is always room for improvement. I am a small girl. I am barely 5 feet, barely fit in my pants, and have little boobies and no ass. Women always tell me how lucky I am that I am tiny and skinny and blah blah thinking that I have it easy. My issues are that I don't feel like I look healthy. I feel like a little boy with no curves whatsoever. I think that we all have our strengths and weaknesses with our body image. I think the hardest think for me is to feel sexy. That is my end goal, to be able to feel sexy by toning my arms, stomach and being a hot little thang!

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  5. I am a curvy girl. I have more BMI than my "normal" weight, but this is what i've learned: As long as I am trying the hardest that I can, exercising and healthy most of the time, I should be okay. Granted, I would always like improvement. But I am working on it. And that's whats important.
    On another note, I think you look great. ANd I'm not just saying that.
    I am following your blog. I love it!
    xoxo,
    Sierra
    Oh, Just Living the Dream

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  6. Im a girl. Im human. I have insecurities. But I deal with them. I have just started running, which I love. So hopefully it helps with my insecurities, but like you said media can do crazy things with girls minds.

    I agree with the part of your guy friend. I dated a guy for 2 years and he noticed after those 2 years that I had (embarrassing enough) stretch marks on my hips! 2 years! SO ladies, seriously take this to heart, dont be embarrassed, they are SO more interested in the fact that your clothes are dropping then the little bit of cellulite on your thighs!

    Lets start a biggest loser blog! Where we can all weigh in on different topics, and all be accountible to eachother?!?!

    Oh and I never turn down a cupcake:)

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  7. Oh man, this is seriously exactly what I needed to read! I am so glad that I clicked on the link...

    I promised myself two days ago that I was going to start eating healthy and working out in order to shed a few pounds. Growing up, I always ate what I wanted, when I wanted, no questions asked. This may or may not have continued into adulthood up until... oh... now. Because of that, I've gained about ten pounds since my wedding last year. I took a picture of myself the other day and noticed the extra flab around my face and said "aw hellll no." I WANT to look good for MYSELF (and yes I totally feel you on ALL CAPS = SERIOUSNESS).

    I've already made changes in my eating habits (small changes, but you gotta start somewhere!) and I'm hoping to continue working out (although I have literally NO idea what I'm doing... seriously, help?!)

    The thing is, I have a serious problem with motivation. I've never been the girl too do any of those things that you mentioned (lights off during intimacy, not going out because of my weight, etc.) so I'm not sure what the kick in the ass that I need exactly is.

    I'm gonna sum this up since it's the longest comment in blog history: you're awesome. I'm awesome. We need to do this together. The end. :)

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  8. yay for getting in shape!! my weight has always fluctuated a LOT but let's just say that right now I am at the high end of my comfort zone. I have been running and counting calories (sort of obsessively), but mostly just so I can get a feel for what foods to avoid. Of course there will always be room for cupcakes (and pizza and CHEESE) in my life, but cheers to a bit of improvement to my already bad self.

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  9. Adore this. I've personally dealt with extremely twisted body image since I was really young. And I mean, I was 10 and somehow in my head I already was dealing with diets. Sadly half my childhood was battling the idea that I was far too fat or far too ugly.

    Alas, it took me many a years to figure out that beauty is relative, and if you feel comfortable, that's all that matters. I am a definition hourglass with a whole lot going on in the chest area which means I will never be a size 2. Ever. But i'm okay with that, but I need to get healthier... run, go to yoga. Because you're 100% dead on... working out does make you feel better in every way possible.

    P.S. I'm going to be really bummed if I move back to California when you get here!

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  10. Yes Jen!!! I am working on this as well as is my husband. It is nice to have a live-in accountability partner, but if not, then finding a friend to keep you accountable is a great idea! lets go for a hike maybe this week?!

    xx, alisia

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  11. ups and downs-sometimes i feel good about myself -but then...other times! i generally exercise 3 or 4 times a week-with a long run on the weekend-but my running buddy is injured at the moment so i didn't go this morning, now feel rubbish for not doing it!nahh!might bake instead to cheer me up...ah-worse!

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  12. "To enjoy life means to enjoy cupcakes." Truer words were never spoken =)
    and really, we're in the same boat with this tone up business.

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  13. Good for you! I haven't been able to exercise at all since the baby and I've lost the weight but things are definitely in different places now!

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  14. I think your sister sounds amazing. And I am officially going to the gym tomorrow. Thanks for the pep talk. Ready. Set.

    Go!

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  15. Way to motivate yourself. Exercise just makes life awesome! And I'm with you.. exercise=sweaty mess. That's just the way it is.

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  16. This is very informative and creative blog i like it very much.

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Your comments make my day! I read each and every one of them and try to deliver a response to as many as I can! Unless there's a discussion going, I will usually reach back to you via e-mail. Thank you for your willingness to speak and share your thoughts :) You is dope.