For the recs, that basil-something cocktail was my first touch of hard liquor this whole year. Not like that's a sticker-worthy statement or anything, but I'm just sayin'. Drinking just doesn't fulfill me the same way gelato does. Or dollars in my wallet. Or easy times on the treadmill. Or mornings that are pleasant.
Needless to say, I did order myself a drink today. I'm not about to say no to a $5 cocktail. Sister, please. If I show up to a fancy restaurant, prepared to maybe spend $12 on a single drink, and the server/angel then notifies me that that $12 drink is actually only $5 because by the grace of God I have arrived during Happy Hour, um.... that's the Good Lord telling me to have a drink. And enjoy it. Well, done and done.
And boy was I buzzzzin' off that one. I guess extended sobriety/being a super light weight in general will do that to you. BUT HEY. This is all besides the point.
The point here is that I just had an absolutely charming and wonderful lunch with two of my most favorite college pals. The three of us hadn't seen each other in awhile, so it was really nice to get together and catch up. Heck, it was nice for me to get out of my little bat cave of a bedroom. My life has become quite the neapolitan of work/blog-related things/and hanging out in my pjs all day as of lately. All great, no complaints. But like Gretchin Rubin points out, "no matter what the people are doing, they tend to feel happier when they're with other people." Heard that. So I called up some homies (via the Facebook) and said "Lunch, ya?" (Spoiler alert: They said YA!!!!!)
Meet Claire and Anais. These two pretty faces are very special people to me. As a transfer student coming into UCI, I struggled to break down the towering fortresses of a very tight-knit drama department. As a whole, college was not (I repeat, not.) the most joyous of times. Just let my tumblr tell you. I struggled to fit in, struggled to feel connected to my peers, struggled to feel worthy, capable, certain of anything. Looking back, a poor attitude and a strong lack of self-love/belief had much to do with that "struggle", but that's not to say that people were warm and welcoming towards me when I arrived. They weren't. Not even a year or two years later. It was a very cold place for me, and I hated being unique to that feeling, while everyone else was laughing, holding hands and having a swell time. It made me feel like something was wrong with me. Like I really was that "weird girl", but maybe not in a good way after all. When in fact, I am that weird girl, but I do believe in a good way, and nothing was wrong with me, I just wasn't in the same space or the same frame of mind as all those kids were. I wasn't as passionate as they were about acting, I wasn't as competitive as they were about getting casted. I wasn't as social as they were constantly. I wasn't as interested in discussing Glee and Spring Awakening and auditions and projects and shows everyday, all day. Suddenly memorizing lines for a scene felt like going to the dentist to get a cavity filled. I just wanted to put it off and reschedule and not have to "deal" with it. I wasn't a true "drama kid" anymore (which in itself was a very scary and doleful revelation). What was once a favorite past-time of mine; playing dress up and putting on shows with the kids in my mom's home daycare, what was once a full-time hobbie of mine; participating in community theater and being a drama nerd in high school/junior college, was now just that- a past-time. My interests had changed. And my proposed post-college agenda was much different than all my fellow college mates. It was an agenda that no longer included pursuing acting at all. It goes without saying, I found myself surrounded by people who I just didn't share that much in common with. It wasn't until my final quarters at UCI (conveniently) that I started to really grasp this and was able to accept the fact that not only a. I probably/definitely picked the wrong major (though I can argue against that now in ways) and b. I really wasn't genuinely going to fit in with my classmates... ever. And I did try, believe me (and not in just a Courtney Robertson sort of way, ha), there were times in which I reached out, in which I conversed, in which I engaged. But that awkward disconnect always seemed to be there. And I always felt like a cartful of lame for even trying when the interest and the effort wasn't genuinely reciprocated.
****Almost always. Luckily, there were a few kindred spirits who came out of the wood work. And Praise God for it. Just because two people don't share a majority of the same interests doesn't mean there isn't an opportunity to connect with each other in some other way. But it takes two to tango in such a movement, and I can only say thank you and thank you and thank you some more to these two ladies for digging and taking an interest beyond my acting resume and my all-time fav musical. (Which is CATS by the way. Just kidding. West Side Story.) (Not sure if that answer is much better, but I like to think it is a little bit. Seriously, who can stand CATS? Or better yet, Phantom of the Opera. Seriously city vacationers, you're going to spend your broadway experience seeing Phantom??? I pity you.) (I take it back. No, not the pitying. The saying West Side Story isn't a legit fav. Sure, it's been done over and over again, but I'm talking the original film here, with Natalie Wood, in all her brilliance. If you don't know what I'm talking about, shame. on. you. Go watch West Side Story. Now. I mean, after you're done reading, commenting, following me on Twitter, and 'liking' me on Facebook that is. [winky winkssss !]) (Thanks.) (I digress.) (I KNOW.) (And actually, I feel like I just contradicted myself a bit there with all of that theater ranting. The truth is, musical theater will always have a special place in my heart, and I do talk about it still and appreciate it, I just no longer eat, breathe, and dream it anymore. That's all.) Ok. Where were we? Oh yeah, I love my friends! And it was truly so magical to see them today.
What I looooove is being at this age, (that yes, at most moments is confusing as fuck), but also the most opportunistic period of our lives. It's so exciting for me to hear my friends talk about the possibilities of au pairing abroad or working on organic farms in foreign countries or investing in creative business ideas, or auditioning for grad acting programs in Australia. I feel so blessed to share that excitement and that inspiration with them. To be a genuine supporter! And in return, feel the love and support as well.
I guess this is what friends are for, huh. :)
Before, I take this post to a closing, I did want to share something awesome with you. Anais was telling me about the book/project Soul Pancake. Have you guys heard of this?? I gatta go get me a copy of this book like now, because it sounds too awesome. Well, anyway, Anais had the opportunity to participate in one of their projects outside of the book and here it is ! In addition to a great lunch with some great friends, this video really made my made day. (Thanks Anais/which heart guy are you????)
Cheers! To life, love, and friendships. Oh, and Happy Hour.